


All I Want Is You With Me

by ThisShallNeverBeMentioned



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Eventual Smut, Friendship/Flirting, Humor, Joel is confusing and amusing, M/M, Uncertaincy, and Ray can't tell if he's imagining things or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 21:33:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1998618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisShallNeverBeMentioned/pseuds/ThisShallNeverBeMentioned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it’s because Joel is the exception to the other Achievement Hunters, because their friendship isn’t built on working in close quarters almost daily, that he finds himself curious about their familiarity.</p><p>Or</p><p>The gradual progression of the friendship of Ray and Joel, featuring confusion, not-quite flirting, and personal space issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want Is You With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the events that take place have been switched around a bit on the timeline for the sake of the story.  
> Whenever there is a ``` you can assume that some time has passed, be it days, weeks, or months.

 

 

He’s late before he’s left his apartment.

In his defence, he had technically been working overtime at home the night before, making notes for new achievement guides as he played his way through his most recent purchases. When he’d last noted the time, it had only just gone midnight, and with a perfect score beckoning and three unopened cans of Red Bull left in the fridge, well, how could he resist?

It may have been getting light outside when he’d finally dragged himself to collapse on his bed, or it may have simply been the streetlights shining in through the window. Either way, it was much too late when he fell asleep on top of the sheets, and much too bright when he woke up with a sticky note on his forehead and a desperate need to go to the bathroom.

He brushed his teeth twice to make up for forgetting the night before, spent too long in the shower just standing and yawning under the spray of water, and by the time he’d finally read Tina’s sarcastic note about sleeping the day away, all he could do was dress hurriedly, grab his phone and wallet and run out the door.

He gave up the idea of running the normally fifteen minute walk almost immediately. He was running on no food and only a few hours sleep and if he was going to arrive late he may as well do so without breaking a sweat. There was a coffee shop on the way; he could pick up a tray as an excuse or apology, whichever would suit the mood of the office when he got there. He might even be able to sneak some breakfast from the kitchen if they aren’t scheduled to record anything straightaway.

When Kara looks up from the reception desk as he opens the front door, he holds the tray of coffees a little higher and flashes her a smile and a greeting. She waves back at him, making no move to call him out on the time – he was close to forty-five minutes late by now – but also not hiding her eye roll as he walked past. He just offers her a shrug in return before making his way through.

There’s no one else in the halls, all most likely set up and plugged in to work till lunch, and since most of the new building is soundproofed the only thing that reaches his ears is the tap of his own shoes on the floor. He turns a corner and slows down a few feet from the Achievement Hunter offices, balancing the tray in one hand so as to free the other to open the door.

“What you got there?”

It probably says something about his state that the unexpected voice startles him enough to almost fumble the tray. There’s a moment when he’s convinced he’s lost at least two of the take away cups to the floor – and wouldn’t that just be great, on top of being late, to have to mop up spilt coffee that had been meant as a peace offering – when a pair of hands come out of left field to steady the tray, long fingers stretched over the two toppling cups, and he locks his arms, holding his breath. There’s a beat, and then a chuckle.

“Careful there.”

The belated sentiment makes him relax, and he looks up with a grateful smile. “Thanks, man, I owe you one.”

Joel looks back at him, a faintly amused expression on his face. “And I thought _I_ was highly strung.”

Ray huffs a laugh and shrugs, still careful of the tray in his hands. “Not high strung, just a bit tired. Wasn’t expecting to be ambushed in the hallway, either.”

“Really?”

“No, I’m actually constantly waiting to be jumped in the hall, dangerous job after all, sitting in front of a computer playing video games all day.”

“No, I-” Joel’s face scrunches up. “I meant about the, the tired thing- about you being tired, that’s- are you not sleeping well?”

Aside from Joel stumbling over the sentence, it’s what sounds like genuine concern in the question that throws Ray’s mind to draw a blank. “Uh. I’m fine.” He lifts a shoulder in a shrug again. “Just gaming late, you know?”

Joel studies him a moment longer, eyebrows pulled down in the middle, and then his face relaxes into an easy smile again. He straightens – Ray hadn’t noticed he’d been leaning over him slightly – and when he finally pulls his hands back from where they’d been resting on the tray, he snags one of the coffees.

“Hey,” Ray protests, but Joel just raises an eyebrow at him and takes a sip, stepping around him.

“You did say you owed me one.”

He has to bite the side of his cheek to stop from smiling too wide, or laughing. “Yeah, well, I kinda figured it got cancelled out since you were the one who startled me in the first place.”

Joel continues to slowly walk backwards away from him, one hand in the pocket of his shorts, and takes an exaggerated drink, smacking his lips afterwards. He grins lazily, and throws a salute to him with his cup.

“Maybe I should startle you more often.”

Then he turns the corner, and Ray stares after him, unable to keep a smile off his face. He shakes his head, and once again balances the coffee tray in one hand – braces it against his chest for safe measure – and turns the doorknob.

He ends up going without coffee _and_ without breakfast, but luckily the morning is just scheduled for editing, and even though talking with Joel made him a grand total of one hour late to work, the coffee ensures that he’s only given flack for it for about five minutes. Geoff mentions something about making up for it by recording a backlog of Things To Do, and maybe a one off Let’s Play with one of the others in the company, and he agrees easily.

There have been worse outcomes for showing up late.

 

 

By lunchtime he’s starving, especially since he’s late to that as well, but at least he has the satisfaction of an editing job fully rendered and done. He’s also rewritten the list of games he’s ready to do achievement guides for and given it to Geoff to put on the schedule, so all around he’s not feeling too bad about the morning, bar his stomach trying to eat itself.

They’ve got to record a Let’s Play in less than half an hour as well, which limits his choices for lunch to what he can find and put together in the kitchen.

He raids the fridge and manages to find some bread, cheese, and tomato - which he’s at least seventy percent certain he can make into grilled cheese without setting anything on fire - along with a supply of Dr Pepper. He despairs at the lack of ready-made microwavable meals, so he writes pop tarts down on the whiteboard shopping list stuck over the counter, and goes about cutting his ingredients up.

He’s sitting and drinking the Dr Pepper, watching the grill intently, when he hears footsteps and turns.

Adam walks in first, the telltale orange and white printed on the side of the takeaway bag in his hand as much a giveaway as the delicious aroma that follows. Ray breathes in, and his stomach growls loudly at the same moment that Joel follows Adam into the kitchen.

Joel looks up at the sound and catches Ray’s eye, opens his mouth in what Ray supposes would probably be a greeting if not for his stomach rumbling a second time, even louder in protest at the fact that though he can smell food, he’s not eating any of it.

The two chuckle and drop their purchases down on the table, Adam taking a seat and unwrapping his burger. Ray stares unabashedly, half sure that he’s drooling. And then Joel steps into his line of sight and he snaps his eyes up.

“Bit hungry?”

Ray nods, and swallows hard, gestures towards the grill that is managing to do fuck-all torturously slow. “Yeah, just waiting for lunch. Grilled cheese.” He adds when Joel bends to peek in at the griller.

He looks up in surprise at that. “Don’t you normally go out to eat?”

“Usually. But we’re filming a Let’s Play in…” he checks his watch. “Ten minutes, fuck. I put that on almost ten minutes ago!”

Joel squints at the griller again, holds his hand up in front of it, then looks at the settings Ray’s put it on, and turns the dial one to the left. The grill lights up with a whir.

“Oh.” Ray blinks. “Well fuck me.”

Looks like he’ll be eating when they start filming. He wonders idly if he can sneak some of the snacks from the pantry and just eat them through the afternoon, wash it down with soda. It’s not like his diet can get much worse.

The scent hits him a second before a burger is shoved in front of his nose, and it looks and smells so good that his stomach gurgles pathetically.

Joel chuckles softly, and pushes the burger towards him again, raising his eyebrows when Ray looks at him questioningly. “Go on, can’t have you starving away to nothing.”

Ray breaks into a smile, and hurriedly takes the burger, sparing just long enough to say emphatically, “Thanks Joel.” before he bites into it.

The flavour hits his tongue and he closes his eyes as he chews; he’s certain he’s never been so happy to eat a Whataburger in his life. He swears his eyes roll back into his head and he thinks maybe he makes a noise but he doesn’t care because it’s _just so good_.

He devours at least half of it before he opens his eyes again to see Joel looking at him and eating his chips with an extremely amused expression. He’d question why Joel is watching him eat like some people would watch a movie, but his mouth is full of _delicious_ food and so he just smiles as wide as he can with his mouth closed and his cheeks puffed out. Joel rolls his eyes and Adam chuckles at him from across the table, and Ray remembers that he’s on a time limit.

A glance at his watch tells him he’s got under five minutes left, so he swallows his mouthful and stands up from his seat, snagging his Dr Pepper. “Gotta go, see you guys later.”

“Later.” Adam waves at him with his drink.

Ray pauses in the doorway and sends another smile to Joel.

“Thanks, again.”

He catches the return smile briefly as he turns away, and he makes it to the office right as Geoff calls for them to start setting up. He quickly gets his equipment in place and turns on his Xbox, then sits back and finishes his burger, licking his fingers after he’s done with a smile he can’t shake from his face.

There’s a saying that food tastes a hundred times better if you don’t have to pay for it, and Ray believes that, but he also believes there’s nothing like a friend sharing their food with you – for no other reason but because you’re hungry and because they can - and expecting nothing in return.

 

 

```

 

 

“Lllet’s stop!” Geoff exclaims, voice cracking, and everyone in the room laughs, stopping and saving their recordings. Michael and Gavin still have their controllers in hand, the former chasing the latter around the Minecraft world with a sword, laughing and attempting to sound threatening at the same time.

Ray exits the game, double checks the video and audio saved correctly, and then pulls off his headphones at the same time Jack does.

“Should we film the follow up now?” Jack asks, looking at Geoff. “We’ve got time.”

“YES! Die, bitch.” Michael cheers, and Gavin let’s out a short scream as his character is killed in game.

“ _Michael!_ ”

“May as well.” Geoff replies, pulling off his own headphones and stretching his arms above his head. “Alright, chuckleheads, we’re filming the passing of the tower. Who’s got their phone ready?”

“I got it.” Ray volunteers, picking up his phone and standing up.

“I can do second cam.” Michael adds.

“Alright,” Geoff starts, and Ray presses record. “Who’s got the tower right now?”

“Jack does.”

“I do.”

“And now,” Ryan leans over, winking at Ray’s camera as he goes past. “You don’t.” He reaches down and plucks the tower up, holding it up triumphantly before he goes back to his desk.

Michael takes the close up while Ray stands back, switching to Jack’s reaction and back again just in time to see Gavin throw something at the tower, toppling it over and hitting Ryan’s can of soft drink. Geoff, Ryan and Michael quickly reach for it, a chorus of ‘oh nos’ mixed with Gavin’s squeaky laugh. Predictably, when Ryan turns to Gavin, he runs, and Ryan follows, picking up one of the Minecraft foam swords as he goes.

Michael and Ray follow quickly, Michael out in front and running after the two, and they just manage to keep them in frame as they go, until Gavin and Ryan turn a corner. Michael makes it around, cutting close to the wall, and but when Ray does the same a door opens in his path and he has to skid to a stop, his shoes slipping underneath him.

“Oh _fuck_.” He curses and grits his teeth as he loses his balance on the turn, instinct telling him to protect his phone first, leaving him without a hand to brace against the fall, and he only hopes he doesn’t land on his glasses.

“ _Shit._ ”

An arm catches him around his middle and fingers close over his upper arm, stopping the fall abruptly and trying to pull him upright. His shoes slide on the ground as he tries to get some grip, and he accidentally kicks out, connecting with someone’s leg if he judges by the grunt. The arm around him tightens and then slowly and carefully lowers him down to the floor. He’s still got his hands tucked into his chest, phone clenched safely in his fingers, and he opens eyes that he doesn’t remember closing.

There’s not much to see when he does, just the dark blue of someone’s shirt.

“Ray?”

He ignores his first instinct to look up immediately, because this close he’s sure he’d just end up clocking whoever caught him in the chin, and waits for them to pull back before staring up at them.

Joel’s stares back down at him in surprise, and Ray takes a moment to assess the position he’s in. Joel’s half crouched over his legs, one arm around Ray just below his shoulder blades and between him and the floor, and his hand still gripping his arm tightly. Ray has a feeling they look completely ridiculous and is surprised there’s no one around to laugh at them, especially as he half feels like laughing himself.

“Are you okay?” Joel asks, nothing but concern in his voice.

Ray relaxes a bit more, and unclenches his hands from his phone, holding it up so he can look at it. It’s still recording.

He grins and waves it a little. “Nothing broken.”

Joel’s face twitches, like he’s caught between wanting to laugh or frown, but he settles for a sigh instead and moves his arms until he’s got a hold on Ray’s elbow and waist. He braces his feet, straightening up and pulling Ray along with him with what seems like an unfairly small amount of effort. He waits till Ray gets his feet underneath him again before he drops the hand from his waist, only to rest it on Ray’s upper arm.

“Achievement Hunter thing?” he asks.

“Uh, yeah.” Ray affirms, and stops the recording on his phone. Joel keeps a hold of both his arms. “Minecraft, recording the tower going to the new victor.”

“Ah. So that would be the stampede I heard.”

Ray nods, and Joel tilts his head, looking him over. Ray thinks about mentioning that maybe Joel can let him go now when Joel opens his mouth.

“You seem to be having a lot of near catastrophes lately.” He comments.

“And _you_ seem to turn up everytime I do.” Ray shoots back, and shrugs when Joel looks unimpressed. “What can I say? Force of habit or something.”

Joel’s face twists painfully. “Please don’t make it a habit.”

“Aw, Joel, don’t you enjoy saving me?” he teases, and Joel fingers squeeze his arms.

“I don’t like my ever increasing chances of having a heart attack.”

Whatever _that_ means. Ray opens his mouth to ask, and at the same moment, Ryan and Michael and Gavin come around the corner, the latter rubbing his side and all three laughing. Joel’s hands slip from his arms and he flashes Ray a quick smile before he disappears back into the room he’d come out of, shutting the door behind him.

“Ray, what happened to you?” Michael asks, holding his own phone in front of him, red light showing it’s still recording.

Ray plasters a smile on his face, pocketing his own phone. “Couldn’t keep up with you idiots, my Vans have got no grip whatsoever.”

Michael laughs, and stops recording, turning the phone towards him. “Ryan got Gavin in a headlock, here, take a look, I got it all…”

 

 

Ray volunteers to edit the small behind the scenes for Gavin, and takes the footage from Michael’s phone as well as his own. He watches back his own fall in camera perspective, and chuckles over it a little, but decides to only use Michael’s footage from when they left the room. It’s just easier.

 

 

```

 

 

The next week Geoff reminds him of his punishment for arriving late.

There’s a Things To Do in Far Cry 3 that needs commentary put over it, so Ray minimizes Final Cut and starts setting up the audio, snagging a second mic and a chair and pulling it over to his computer. He turns to ask Geoff to pass him the file, and is stopped by a hand falling on his shoulder, followed by a body dropping down into the spare chair beside him.

“Gooood morn- wait, afternoon? What’s the-” Joel pulls his hand back to shuffle his chair closer, squinting at the clock on the monitor. He taps his own watch, still frowning a little. “I think my watch is slow.”

He looks up to see Ray staring at him, and the frown dissolves, and he pulls a small hard drive out of his pocket.

“Here you go, load her up.”

“Oh. Right, thanks.” Ray half stands from his chair to reach around and plug the cord in, settling back as he watches the computer register it. “So you’re the one who did the Things To Do?” He side-eyes Joel, who’s adjusting his chair as best he can while it’s crammed under Ray’s table.

“Yeah, got, uh, got bored and Geoff mentioned you needed- well, you’ll see. Audio all set up?”

“Yup. Okay, so…”

He brings up the drive and blinks, taking in the meticulously organised folders. There’s not even a miscellaneous folder, every single one labelled clearly and some even colour coded. At least it’s easy to navigate, he muses, clicking through _Edited Videos – Achievement Hunter – Things To Do – Far Cry 3_.

There’s only one file in the folder, and Ray raises an eyebrow at Joel as he reads, “‘We’re On a Boat’?”

Joel just grins and motions for him to get it set up, now fiddling with Ray’s mic, completely ignoring the second one.

Ray shrugs, opens the file, begins the audio recording and sets the video up on the second monitor.

“Okay, we’re ready, just let me know-”

“Quiet on set!” Joel calls out, fake growl in his voice, swivelling around and knocking Ray’s chair with his own. “No talking, Jack, we’re recording.”

Jack just rolls his eyes and motions to his own headphones, and Joel turns back and grabs the mouse, starting the video and leaning in close to Ray’s mic.

“Aaaaaaaaand here we are in Far Cry 3…”

Ray’s struggling not to laugh from the beginning, watching Joel’s editing along with listening to the commentary beside him, and he tries to catch up but just feels like he’s along for the ride. Joel barely pauses for breath and it’s clear he knows where every cut is because his commentary is flawless, made funnier with the lazy, rolling way Joel speaks.

There’s a pause where Joel stops and Ray almost thinks that’s the end of the video, but then he starts again, and the cuts are so abrupt that Ray just waits, but Joel doesn’t say anything. Then the music starts up along with the montage and he can’t stop laughing, and he tries to lean away from the mic a little so he doesn’t kill the audio laughing, but Joel puts a hand on his arm and keeps him in close, eyes still on the screen and a grin on his face. Ray covers his mouth with a hand and watches the last few seconds, shaking with suppressed laughter.

“…and that’s… other boats.” Joel finishes as the video fades.

They sit in silence for a few more seconds, and then Joel squeezes his arm and looks over with a smile, and Ray loses it.

He laughs, leaning back in his chair, hand over his stomach, and hears Joel’s wheezing laughter next to him, which just makes him laugh more.

“J- That’s- that was just-” Ray chokes out, and takes a deep breath, dragging a hand over his face. “That was fucking incredible, Joel.”

Joel giggles, _giggles_ at him, and leans forward to stop the recording, saving it twice to Ray’s hard drive and his own. He makes a whole separate folder for it on Ray’s, labelling it as ‘Joel and Ray take a vacation’.

“Good.”

 

 

```

 

 

The rain hits late afternoon, coming down in sheets and turning the world outside grey. It’s heavy enough that Ray can hear it in the Achievement Hunter offices, even with the windows and door closed. They’re finishing up a GTAV recording, the plan being to spend the last hour or so of the day editing. He just hopes the rain eases off by the time he had to walk home.

When he goes out to grab another soda, though, it sounds even heavier than before, and a glance out the window shows how dark it is already, thanks to the cloud cover.

Ryan’s left early, and Gavin is organising getting a lift with Michael and Lindsay when he walks back into the office. He grabs his phone and sends a text off to Tina, asking for a pick up, then goes about wrapping up his jobs for the day.

His phone buzzes almost ten minutes later, by which time Michael, Gavin and Lindsay have gone, and Jack and Geoff are going over the schedule for the next week. Ray reads the text and huffs, sinking down in his seat.

_Sorry Ray :( Got a dinner date. You’re gonna have to be a man and brave the rain._

He scowls at his phone, but doesn’t get a chance to type a reply before she sends a follow up.

_And try not to drip on the carpet, shaggy._

Ray quickly types out - _I’m gonna shake all over your side of the couch_ \- and presses send, getting to his feet and shutting down his computer. He picks up his backpack and wanders over to Jack and Geoff.

“Any chance of getting a lift?”

They look up, and their faces shift into almost identical expressions of sympathy, though with a wry smile on Geoff’s part. “Sorry, bud, unless you wanna stick around for another hour…”

But Ray just waves a hand; he knew it was a small chance. “It’s alright, I’ll just see if I can snag an umbrella from Kara. See you guys tomorrow.”

They chorus goodbyes, and he leaves the office, makes his way to the front door. Kara’s not at reception, but he pokes around her desk anyway, hope sinking as he doesn’t find anything at all suited to wet weather. He gives up, casting a dark glance out the window, and pulls his hood up before opening the door.

It’s windy as well, and the rain hits his face and glasses almost immediately, icy cold and drenching. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, puts his head down ready to battle his way home, and then jumps when a horn blares at him.

He looks around, and one of the cars in the lot flashes its lights at him, so he half jogs over. The passenger door opens as soon as he reaches it, and Matt looks out at him and gestures to the backseat.

“Get in before you drown, kid.” He shouts over the rain, and then shuts his door again.

Ray doesn’t hesitate to follow the suggestion.

The car’s warm inside, the heater turned up and welcome after even a few minutes in the cold rain. He drops his backpack next to him and sits back, pulling his hood off.

“Thanks.” He grins towards the front; Matt smiles back at him, and so do a pair of dark eyes in the rear-view mirror.

Joel chuckles at Ray’s double take, and pulls out of the parking lot, through the front gates. “You look like a drowned rat.” He comments.

“And Joel should know,” Matt cuts in before Ray can reply. “He looks like one twenty-four-seven.”

“Hey, no harassing the driver,” Joel frowns over at him. “I’ll turn this car around if I have to.”

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Ray teases; Matt laughs, and Joel scowls at him through the mirror, though his lips quirk upwards.

Matt launches into telling him about an idea for the next season of RT Shorts, which apparently includes the purchase of two bear suits and lightsabers, and even though it’s only about five minutes to his apartment he’s somehow agreed to help out with filming by the time Joel pulls up to the curb. He vaguely wonders how Joel knows where he lives.

“Ray,” Joel says, reaching a hand back and grabbing at his knee. “Raaaaaaayyy.”

“Jooooooooel?” He returns, laughing and pulling his hood up around his face, prepared to make a dash for the front door of the apartment block.

Joel turns around from the driver’s seat to look at him, and says in what Ray recognises as his ‘serious acting’ voice, “Don’t get sick.”

Matt whacks him in the arm. “Don’t be a creeper, Joel, you’ll traumatise the kid.”

Joel cracks a grin, and gives Ray’s knee one last pat before letting go and waving him away. Ray says goodbye to him and Matt, grabs his backpack, opens the door and steps out. He slams it shut and runs to the shelter of the alcove, pulling his key out. He turns and waves at the car as it pulls away, and lets himself in.

 

 

```

 

 

“Mail’s here!”

“Here’s the mail…” Michael sings as he takes off his headphones, and pushes back in his chair. Ray hums along, quickly saving his work so far before he lets himself look around.

Gavin’s already jumped up and gone to the door of the office, taking a few of the packages from Kdin’s arms and scanning the address lines. He tosses one to Jack and Michael each while Kdin actually hands the boxes over.

“One for you, X-Ray!” Gavin calls, holding up a small box. He waits for Ray to turn in his chair before throwing it across the room.

“Thanks Vav.” He catches it easily and looks it over; it’s fairly light and flat, either a CD or a game, he thinks.

“ _Gavin!_ For fuck’s sake just give me the letter.”

It’s easy to open, not taped up across every corner of cardboard like some of the longer distance things he’d been sent.

“Oh sweet, Rockstar’s sent us a freebie game code.”

The card sitting on top of the actual present is fairly short but nice, and he stands it up beside his keyboard then turns to pulling the wrapping paper off. Now that he’s got his hands on it he doesn’t think it’s a game, there’s too much give to it.

“…got another poster, check it out-”

The paper falls away, and Ray stares for a moment, then can’t help but let out a laugh. “Oh, that is awesome.”

“What you got, Ray?”

He holds it up in his hands, grinning wide, and there’s an echoing round of laughs from the room as the others see it.

It’s a rose crown. The flowers and buds are all made out of some shiny red material, and they’re twisted onto a circlet of bendy wire covered with green felt, a few leaves sticking out alternately. It’s impeccably made, and when he puts it on his head it fits perfectly.

“Now all you need is to win the tower back from Ryan.” Jack comments.

Ryan laughs, turning in his chair. “Oh, bring it on. I’ve got my own crown anyway.”

“Yeah,” Ray says, leaning back to grab for his plush rose. “But have you got the power of _roses_?”

There’s a light rap on the door before Ryan can respond, and when he turns it’s to see Joel leaning against the frame, knuckles resting on the open door.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve been sent to pick up Gavin for the podcast.” He says with a bemused smile.

Gavin shoots up out of his chair. “What? Am I on it today?”

Joel heaves a long-suffering sigh and rolls his eyes. “It says your name on the schedule, and Gus sent out a reminder.”

“Good thing we didn’t start recording anything, then.” Geoff comments as Gavin hastily saves and starts shutting down the programs on his computer.

Ray turns back to his own work, crumpling up the wrapping paper and putting it and the box to one side of his desk. He’s about to put his headphones on when he senses someone standing behind his chair. He looks up over his shoulder.

Joel’s tilted towards him, eyes glued to his head, and Ray’s about to ask if there’s something wrong when Joel reaches out a hand and he remembers the crown. He feels Joel’s fingers against the side of his head, and sits still, watches as a small smile stretches over his face.

He traces a finger around the crown, grazing his scalp, and his eyes move to meet Ray’s. “Looks good on you.”

“Thanks.” He responds automatically, still doesn’t make a move so as not to jostle Joel’s hand.

Joel holds his gaze, and he looks like he’s going to say something else, when there’s a Gavin-esque squawk followed by a small crash. Ray gaze flicks away to the source of the noise, and Joel’s hand shifts on his head, ruffling his hair before withdrawing, stuffed back in the pocket of his hoodie.

He crosses the room, grabbing Gavin’s collar as he passes and ignoring the mess of stuff that’s somehow fallen off Gavin’s desk. Then he’s out the door with a wave and a quick “I’ll return him after lunch” and they’re both gone. Michael mutters and leans over to pick up Gavin’s things, dumping them on his desk. Geoff, Jack and Ryan have already turned back to their computers, and after exchanging a sympathetic smile with Michael, Ray turns back too.

Five minutes later he puts his headphones on and notices that the crown’s gone.

Twenty minutes after that Jack starts laughing and waves him over to watch the podcast.

An hour later, Ray gets up from his desk and stretches, walks out of the office and towards the sound stage. He passes by Blaine and Gus, stands out of the way off to the side of the set as the crew shut it down for another week. He waits, and smiles when he catches Burnie’s eye, nodding his head towards the person Burnie’s talking to. Burnie takes the hint and starts walking them over, and they’re a few steps away when Joel looks up and spots Ray. Then he splits into a wide grin.

“Hey Ray.” Burnie says as they reach him.

“Hi Burnie, good podcast, hilarious as always.” He returns easily, and Burnie chuckles, nods to him and elbows Joel before pulling out his phone and walking over to where Barbara and Gavin are talking.

Ray turns to Joel with his eyebrows raised. “So. Nice accessory.”

Joel laughs and leans against the wall next to him. “It is.” He agrees, and then his grin gets impossibly wider. “How long did it take you to notice?”

“That it was gone? Not that long. But, uh,” He smiles a bit sheepishly. “I didn’t know _you_ were the one who took it until Jack checked the podcast.”

Joel’s eyes twinkle mischievously. “What would you have done if Jack hadn’t shown you?”

Ray shrugs. “Probably search the office and then give up. Hope I never meet the person who sent it to me so I don’t have to lie and say I just took it home and left it there.”

Joel laughs again lightly, and then reaches up to pull the rose crown off his head. “Well I’d better give this back, then. Wouldn’t want you in trouble with the fans.”

But he avoids Ray’s hands when he reaches up to take the crown, and puts it on Ray’s head himself, smoothing his hair down around the roses. His fingers run down past his neck till they reach his shoulders, and Joel takes a step back, holds him at arms length, and looks at him appraisingly.

“Looks better on you anyway.” He finally says with a grin, and his hands slide off Ray’s shoulders.

“Maybe you just need one made of gold.” Ray quips, and Joel laughs.

 

 

```

 

 

Whenever there’s something to celebrate – or sometimes when Burnie’s just in the mood for it – lunchtime at Roosterteeth becomes Barbeque Afternoon. Someone will be sent to the supermarket with a scribbled list of ingredients in their hand, Geoff and Gus will bring out the drinks, and several others will pitch in to help with the cooking.

This time there’s not really an excuse, or at least not one Ray’s aware of, and the first he hears about it is when Geoff gets a text and announces that he’s off to help Gus, and that anyone who wants to help is welcome to go down to the kitchen. Over the next hour, Jack and then Michael save their work and leave the office, and when Ryan stands up, Gavin decides to go as well. Ray promises he’ll be down as soon as the segment he’s been editing has rendered and saved, and jokingly tells Gavin to save him a Red Bull.

A quarter of an hour passes, during which he scrolls through Twitter and Vine, and the render bar finally reaches a hundred percent. He saves the file and sets the computer to sleep, and finally makes his way out the door to the kitchen, following the voices and smell of cooking.

He passes by Kerry and Miles in the hallway with an extra plate of food – he assumes for Monty – and then into the crowded kitchen. There’s an esky full of soft drink and beer beside the door, and a sort of buffet set up along the main table, Burnie and Barbara still cooking what looks like stuffed steaks by the stove. He wastes no time in picking up a can of soft drink and a paper plate, loading up with oven chips and a burger and sausages. He picks out a few tomatoes from the salad bowl as an afterthought.

Seconds are a must, so after he clears his plate he picks up one of Burnie’s steaks, and hovers around waiting for the BBQ sauce.

“Here you- ah, Ray! You made it.” Gavin grins at him and hands over the squeezy bottle, and then starts herding him over to the doors that lead outside.

“I was only upstairs, not a state away.” Ray rolls his eyes. “Besides, you can’t keep this Puerto Rican away from free food.”

Gavin laughs. “Just as well, I was gonna send a search and rescue.”

They catch up with Michael, Lindsay and Ryan, who’ve snagged some chairs, and Ray tucks into his steak. He finishes his soda, and of course when he stands up the others shout out requests for drinks in exchange for guarding his food.

He gets roped into putting a new case of beers into the esky, but he gets the drinks in the end, and somehow manages to keep them all tucked in his arms as he pushes his way back outside- and runs right into Joel in the doorway.

“I thought you didn’t drink?” he remarks, eyeing the beers in Ray’s arms. “Did I miss my chance?”

Ray looks at him. “Chance to what?”

“To fix you.”

Joel’s face falls into a pout as he speaks, and Ray just huffs a laugh. Someone’s trying to get back inside, so he lets Joel pull him out the door and to one side with a hand on his shoulder.

“Nah, you didn’t.” Ray assures. “I’ve been made the drinks bitch.”

“Ah.” He lights up in understanding, eyes searching, and plucks a can out of Ray’s hold. “So this one’s for you then... cream soda?”

“Cream soda is the _best_ soda.”

Joel hums thoughtfully, studying the can, and then cracks it open and takes a swig.

“Hey!” Ray protests, but he can’t do anything with his hands full, and Joel takes another gulp, swallows, and makes a show of wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking his lips contemplatively. A smile spreads across his face at the look of outrage on Ray’s.

“Not bad.”

“You-”

“X-Ray!” Gavin’s shout interrupts him, and he’s waving at him when he looks round. He turns back to Joel and pins him with a hard look.

“This isn’t over, Heyman.”

The smile on Joel’s face grows into a smirk, and he tilts his head at Ray, raising the soda can to his lips. “We’ll see.” He muses.

Ray leaves him at the door and makes his way back over to hand off the bottles in his hands, reclaiming his seat and his – now cold – steak.

 

The afternoon continues on even after the majority of the food’s been devoured. What’s not been eaten is handed out to those who want to take it home, and some people have left early while others – mainly the RWBY crew – go back to work.

He spends a few minutes chatting to Arryn, before Michael and Gavin lure him filming a handstand competition for an RT Life. Gus seeks him out while they’re watching Gavin almost bend himself over backwards when he overbalances, and he easily agrees to appearing on a future podcast when Gus needs an extra person.

Ray’s disappointed when he goes back to the drinks esky and there are no more cream sodas, so he placates himself with a coke, snatches up a couple of leftover chips, and that’s when finally catches sight of Joel again as he disappears around the doorway.

The hallway is empty when he follows, and so is Joel’s office when he checks. He briefly considers leaving a sticky note drawing on the computer screen, but instead decides to go back to the AH office, see if he can get that editing job done for the day and then go home.

He stops dead when he opens the door.

Joel’s sitting – well, reclining - in his chair, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, and he grins slowly when he sees Ray. “Heyyy Ray…”

“Hey.” Ray raises his eyebrows at him. “You know this isn’t your office, right?”

Joel scrunches up his face in an attempt at a scowl, but it’s ruined by the smile still on his face. “I’m aware.”

“And that you’re sitting in my seat.”

“I am _very_ aware.”

“…And you’re not going to move to let me work, are you?”

Joel just grins, swivelling in the chair. Ray shrugs, and strides over to pick up his bag from beside his desk. “Well, in that case I guess I’ll call it a day. See ya later, Joel-”

Fingers snag the hem of his T-shirt and effectively stop him from moving.

“I got you something.”

He quirks an eyebrow, and Joel bring his free hand up: there’s a can of cream soda clasped in his fingers.

Ray can’t stop his own answering smile. “Thanks, but I’ve kinda got my hands full.” He nods to his can of coke. Joel seems to ponder it for a second, and then looks up at him.

“Swap you?”

“Not much of a swap for you, the coke’s half empty. And I can’t promise no backwash.”

Joel chuckles. “I’ll take the risk.”

“…Alright.”

“Alright.” Joel repeats, and doesn’t move.

Ray looks pointedly at where Joel’s hand is still tangled in his shirt, and Joel rolls his eyes before he releases him, and holds out his hand expectantly. Ray drops his bag back to the floor, hands over the coke and takes the cream soda, and because Joel’s still watching him, he decides to humor him and cracks it open to take a sip. He’s still standing over him, so he shifts his weight to put a bit more distance between them, swallows and gestures to the coke.

“You not going to seal the deal?” he asks teasingly.

Joel’s nose scrunches up, and he looks doubtfully at the coke, then gingerly sets it down on the desk. “I’m not exactly a fan of soft drinks.”

“You said you liked the cream soda earlier.”

“I lied.”

Ray bursts out laughing - Joel smiles at him – and runs his free hand over his face. “You stole my drink and I bet you didn’t even drink it all, did you, you bastard. You’re like a real life version of the steal-your-bike guy.”

The confusion on Joel’s face at the reference just makes him laugh harder, and he puts his soda down, backing up to drop into Gavin’s chair. Joel kicks his shoe and then hooks an ankle around Ray’s, pulls the rolling chair closer and leans towards him. He plants his hands on his legs, just above his knees and below the hem of his shorts - his thumbs easily curve under his knees - and Ray stills, his laughter dying.

“Still gonna fix you.” Joel murmurs, and his thumbs drag along his skin.

Ray blinks back at him, and is very thankful that his voice is steady and challenging when he replies. “Good luck with that.”

A wicked smirk spreads across his face, and Joel squeezes his legs swiftly, chuckles when Ray can’t help twitching – since when is he ticklish there? – and pushes himself up and out of his chair. He stretches, picks up the can of coke with his fingertips, and ruffles Ray’s hair as he walks past, long strides across the room and to the door, letting it fall shut behind him.

Ray stares after him, utterly confused and uncomfortably warm.

_What the hell just happened?_

 

 

```

 

 

Roosterteeth, as a close-knit company, is pretty handsy at the best of times. It’s not out of place to see people hugging, wrestling, or play fighting, and to get patted on the back or have your personal space invaded in some capacity. People still respect boundaries, of course, but everyone knows physical contact is part of being an RT employee. It’s just the way it is.

Which is why Ray hasn’t ever thought anything of being manhandled around. It’s not like he gets it the most – that’s usually Gavin and Kerry – and he dishes out as good as he gets. It’s part of what makes working there so fun, being with colleagues who you can also count as friends, and who are always ready to muck about.

And then there’s Joel Heyman.

Oh, he knows he and Joel are friends; he’s had enough interactions with the man to count him as one of the employees with whom he’s closest, along with the AH crew. In fact he’s probably the only one outside of Achievement Hunter that he’s grown closer to, especially over the past few months. And it’s not that that fact bothers him, it’s just…

He’s not sure if he’s reading too much into it or not.

Maybe it’s because Joel _is_ the exception to the other Achievement Hunters, because their friendship isn’t built on working in close quarters almost daily, that he finds himself curious about their familiarity.

To put it plainly, Joel touches him. A lot.

As much as Gavin and Michael do, though even that’s not a proper comparison. Ray and the lads fool about like, well, lads. Wrestling, fake ass-slapping, dicking around on camera and high fiving over games.

Joel touches him casually. A hand on his shoulder or arm, scruffing up his hair, leaning into him. And the rare times they’re on camera together and Joel plays up to it, even then it’s these casually intimate touches that break in through his personal space. He appears in particular to have a strange obsession with touching his face a lot when on camera.

 

“So, uh, yeah, don’t forget to check out this week’s AHWU and…” Ray trails off into a small laugh when Joel leans in front of the camera that Kyle’s holding mid recap.

“And the Monday Let’s Play, GTAV, crooks and cops, it’s a good one, Ryan goes crazy surprising no one,” Joel steps back and around him, and Ray feels his hands come up and hover on either side of his face, but keeps looking into the lens. “And finally, Game Fails with Geoff and Gavin, where Gavin’s an idiot and fucks shit up, always entertaining.” The fingers connect with his the sides of his jaw, and slide up along his cheeks, scratching his facial hair. “That’s all from me, that’s the end of the recap, Joel Heyman’s touching my face, so I’ll see you later. Or you’ll see me later, whichever, I don’t give a fuck.”

Kyle waits a few seconds, then stops recording and looks up with a grin. “Nice job.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah, you’re done. Thanks Ray.”

“No problem.” He hands back the microphone, steadily ignoring the fact that Joel’s now massaging his fingers into his scalp.

He waits until Kyle’s gone, and then a moment longer to see if Joel will stop on his own. When he doesn’t, Ray turns abruptly, dislodging his hands, and raises an eyebrow. Joel looks back at him, small smirk on his face, and then puts his hands back to Ray’s head, dragging his thumbs over his eyebrows.

“You having fun there?” Ray asks incredulously.

“Hmmm.” He scratches lightly at Ray’s head, and he has to repress a shiver at the sensation.

“Earth to Heyman.” He drawls, and flicks Joel’s wrist. “I know I’m irresistible, but you gotta control yourself.”

That makes Joel chuckle, and he finally pulls his hands away, but not before poking Ray’s cheek with an index finger. “Don’t get a cocky. Only gangster douche bags do that.”

“Dude, haven’t you heard? I am the king of the gangsters.”

Joel just grins at him, sticks his hands in his pockets, and walks away.

 

Ray doesn’t like to make assumptions, finds it’s easier to just go off plain facts and what he’s told to his face. He’s never been the best at taking hints.

And it’s driving him crazy that he can’t figure this out. That he can’t figure Joel out.

That he wants to.

 

 

Later, when his eyes are drooping over his controller at home and he’s spent too much time rethinking their recent interactions, he decides that the best thing to do is ignore it.

After all, assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups.

 

 

```

 

 

Of course, following his own decision doesn’t stop him from trying to do things a little differently, to mix things up. Call it a test, just to see how it goes. So at lunch, he walks a few streets over and buys a coffee. Gets back to the RT building, walks straight past the AH office, down another hallway, and doesn’t stop to think before knocking on Joel’s door.

“Yeah?” Adam calls from the other side.

Oh. Right.

Joel shares his office.

Maybe he didn’t completely think this through.

He opens the door anyway, and leans around it, throwing only a slightly sheepish smile at Adam, and then startles when he realises that Joel is there, after all, frowning at his monitor.

 “Oh hi Ray.”

Joel’s head snaps up.

“Hey Adam, hey Joel, how’s it going?” he smiles, keeping the coffee hidden behind the door and mentally smacking himself in the head.

“Not bad. Is it about lunchtime? I think I’ll grab something before we film that Outlast video.” Adam stands up and nudges Joel’s shoulder. “Want anything?”

Joel makes a noncommittal noise.

Adam smiles at Ray when he steps around him and out the door, and Ray turns back to Joel with an awkward grin, then holds up the takeaway cup and says awkwardly. “Uh, got you a coffee.”

He blinks. “What, really?”

“No, Joel, this is mine and I just told you it was yours to confuse you.”

Joel loses the vaguely surprised look and rolls his eyes with a smirk, holds out a hand. “Hand it over, kid.”

“Watch it with that language, old man, or this’ll be the last time.” Ray returns, but walks over and gives him the coffee, leaning against Joel’s desk.

Joel takes it, inhaling deeply, but then he pauses with it halfway to his mouth, and squints at Ray. “This isn’t a prank?”

Ray’s brows pull together. “No…?”

“Burnie didn’t put you up to this?”

He puts a hand on his heart and pulls a hurt expression. “Joel, would I?”

The wary look doesn’t drop, but Ray catches the hint of teasing in the quirk of Joel’s mouth. “Then why the sudden charity?”

Ray shrugs. “Do I need a reason?”

Joel stares him down for a few seconds longer, and then his face softens, and he raises the coffee to his lips. He drinks it with his eyes closed, and sighs happily. “I think I really needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” Ray grins.

Joel opens his eyes and looks up at him from under his eyelashes. “Does this mean I owe _you_ one now?”

Ray laughs.

He’ll call it a success.

 

 

```

 

 

It’s a new norm to see Joel walking into the AH office with a variety of soft drinks, or Ray with an extra coffee in the morning, wandering the halls on the other side of the building.

And the few times when Joel forgets to bring lunch and Ray works a bit longer in the mornings so he misses hitching a ride with Michael or Jack, it only makes sense that they get lunch together.

The day Ray convinces Joel to get pancakes he pats himself on the back, because there’s nothing quite like seeing Joel Heyman with maple syrup all over his fingers as he eats them rolled up like wraps.

Of course he snaps a picture and tweets it.

Joel squints at him in annoyance when he lowers his phone. “Why?” he mumbles around a mouthful, and Ray grins back at him.

“You got a little something,” he notes, scratching his own chin, and laughs when Joel’s attempt to wipe his face just smears more syrup around. “And on- jesus, how’d you get it on your _nose_?”

The waitress raises an eyebrow but miraculously doesn’t laugh herself when she brings over their drinks. She also discreetly leaves several more paper napkins.

“Rayyyyyy.” Joel whines, and stretches out his hands pleadingly. Ray heaves a sigh and hands him one of the napkins.

“Joel, seriously, you’re like twice the adult I am. Shouldn’t you know how to use a knife and fork by now?”

The napkin is breaking off and sticking to his fingers in clumps as he tries to wipe off his hands, and he pokes his tongue out of his mouth to get some of the syrup that way, though there’s no way he can get his nose, even though he attempts it. Ray bites the inside of his cheek, seconds away from bursting out laughing.

“Ray,” Joel says again, eyebrows pulled together and bottom lip pushed out in a pout. “ _Help_.”

He pretends to consider it, raising his own eyebrows, and then props his chin up in one hand with a grin. “Nah, this is more fun.”

He regrets it a moment later when Joel launches across the table to smear his still syrup-covered hands over his face, thankfully avoiding his glasses, and all his pleads for Joel to stop are answered with a giggling, “Victory! _Victoryyyyyy!_ ”

In the end, Ray likes to think of it as a tie, because even though he smells like maple syrup for the rest of the afternoon, Joel’s hair is stuck together in a messy Mohawk of sugar and paper napkin pieces.

 

 

```

 

 

Ray usually tries to avoid getting towed along to places he doesn’t want to go, but sometimes he has to resign himself to being stuck. He and Tina had gone out to get dinner with a couple of other friends, and that had led into going to a nearby bar. He’d been promised it wouldn’t be for too long, just for a couple of drinks, and Tina had shouted him a raspberry soda.

Over an hour and a half later, and he’s still waiting. He’s fine chatting with everyone, and he’s more than used to talking to people when they're less than sober – finds it hilarious when Drunk Burnie comes out, and Gavin and Michael are always a source of entertainment – but he still finds himself slightly bored and checking Twitter periodically.

“Want another drink, Ray?” Tina asks, and he looks up from his phone, considering.

“Nah, I’d probably burst.” He waves it off and stands, pockets his phone. “Gotta pee.” He announces, and Tina nods and turns back to the conversation with her friends.

Luckily there’s not a line for the bathroom.

He’s half considering getting a bus home and logging onto Xbox live when he’s forced to sidestep a gaggle of giggling teenagers, and a bad placement of tables and too many people by the bar means he has to turn sideways to squeeze through. Someone steps back into him, he steps back to compensate, and ends up knocking shoulders with a someone going in the opposite direction as him.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!”

The guy half shouts, turning to Ray, who looks back instinctively and says a hasty, “Sorry, man.”

When he turns to keep walking, a rough hand on his shoulder spins him back, and oh, Ray wishes he’d never left the table. The guy is clearly several drinks past drunk, incoherent, unreasonable, bigger than him and just looking for a fight. Probably wouldn’t be out of place in a GTA game. This is why he doesn’t go outside.

“I said I was sorry,” Ray tries again. “Just let it go.”

It’s the wrong thing to say, judging by the angry expression on the guy’s face, though that leaves Ray with no idea what would be the right thing.

The guy shoves him into a bar stool, and he hastily grabs at it to stop himself falling over. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do, kid!”

“Okay, alright,” Ray backs away, hands up and palms out in a placating gesture, and though he doesn’t keep eye contact he doesn’t turn his back on the guy, too aware that he’s more likely to need to know if and when he’ll need to dodge another shove - or a fist, at this rate. “I’m going, I’m-” He jolts at the sudden hand on his back, panic building.

“Is there a problem here?” A low, familiar voice growls, the hand steadying him and Ray has never been happier to hear Joel Heyman in his life.

“No problem as long as that little fucktard gets lost.”

The guy takes a step forward, and Ray tenses instinctively, but Joel’s hand slides up to grip his shoulder and pull him back, and he takes the chance to glance away from the guy to Joel as he steps around from behind him.

There’s a terrifying sort of calm about him, but with an undertone that screams ‘dangerous’, and it’s slightly familiar to Ray. It’s the look he assumes in some of the RT Shorts, the intimidation look, and he feels a strange urge to laugh.

Joel’s eyes are narrowed, unblinking, and the light makes them look black, every move deliberate as he steps protectively in front of Ray, planting him directly between him and the drunk guy. He blinks at the expanse of Joel’s back blocking his view; he forgets how tall Joel really is sometimes, forgets how threatening he can appear if you don’t know him.

“Back off.”

The guy snorts, steps into Joel’s space, from what little Ray can see. “Oh yeah? S’no good you protecting the little f-”

“ _Back. The fuck. Off_.”

Every line of Joel is tense, his fists clenched at his sides, and when they twitch upwards Ray thinks he’s about to punch the guy – and don’t get him wrong, he’d love to see that, but Joel making the first move is bound to end badly – so he quickly grabs Joel’s forearm and hisses, “ _Joel_.”

And from there it goes wrong, because at the same moment that Joel relaxes at the touch of Ray’s hand, the drunk guy draws a fist back– the one he’s holding his bottle in - and snaps it forward.

There’s a sound of breaking glass; Joel manages to grab the guy’s wrist and slam it down to the side against the bar, and the bottle shatters. The arm Ray has a hold on twists until Joel can grasp his wrist as well, he pushes Ray further behind him, but when he moves to let go Ray tightens his fingers. “Wait-”

“What the _hell_?”

Ray looks up in time to see Jack step up between Joel and the drunk guy, glaring, and now that he’s outnumbered by two tall hulking guys – Jack can look pretty intimidating himself, something about the beard – it only takes a few seconds of standoff before the guy turns and stomps away across the bar, muttering curses.

Then Jack turns to Joel with a scowl. “What the hell was that, Joel?” he demands, hands spread out in exasperation at his sides.

Joel doesn’t reply, still glaring after the drunk guy, so Jack huffs and grabs Joel’s arm in one hand and puts the other on Ray’s shoulder and steers them swiftly out of the bar.

They walk down the street in silence, Jack herding them along until they reach his car. When Joel makes for the passenger seat Jack pushes him towards the back, looking at him sternly until Joel takes the hint and slides into the backseat in a sulk. Ray’s hides a small smile at the sight of Joel being ordered around like a kid, but obeys immediately himself when Jack indicates the passenger door to him.

Once they’re all inside, Jack reaches across to the glove compartment and pulls out a first aid kit, throwing it into the backseat with Joel. Ray glances back, confused, but then notices the blood on Joel’s fingers, and he opens his mouth.

“Ray, you okay?” Jack asks, looking him over.

Ray nods, still looking back. “I’m fine.” He sends a grateful smile over. “Thanks, Jack.”

Jack returns the smile, and then looks at Joel over his shoulder. “Got anything to say, Joel?”

“He started it.”

The petulant voice makes Ray laugh suddenly, and Jack just shakes his head and starts the car.

“Alright, I’m taking you two home. Try not to bleed all over the backseat.”

 

 

Ray texts Tina after Jack starts the car, letting her know that he got a ride home so she doesn’t look for him. He doesn’t get an immediate reply, but he figures she’ll see the message when she notices he hasn’t come back.

They get stopped in traffic, and after glancing over his shoulder one too many times, Jack suggests Joel might need a hand “putting bandaids on his boo-boos”, so he climbs over into the back.

Joel hands over the first aid kit immediately; he’s not done anything more than wrap his hand up in a tissue, and there are reds spots bleeding through it.

Ray’s probably not any better at dressing wounds – this is why he stays inside playing video games, so he doesn’t have to deal with real-life injuries. He’s not even broken a bone before – but Joel doesn’t complain, doesn’t say a word, just lets him mop up the blood and cover the small glass cuts with some sticky salve, and then about ten bandaids. Amusingly, they’re Disney patterned.

“There you go, all fixed.” He announces, packs up the first aid kit and throws it into the front passenger seat. Jack smiles at him through the rear view.

Ray settles down beside Joel and looks him over. “You alright?”

Joel nods.

He waits, but when he doesn’t get anything else he tries again. “It looked like you were ready to hulk out back there, sure you didn’t blow a blood vessel?”

Joel’s lips twitch.

There’s only the smallest hint of hesitation in the back of his mind as he reaches over and puts his hand on Joel’s – the uninjured one – patting it, he hopes, comfortingly. “Thanks, by the way.” He says quietly, and then adds. “I owe you one.”

That finally gets a reaction. Joel turns to look at him, and when he meets Ray’s eyes his lips quirk up in a small smile, face softening from the sulking frown it’s been in since they left the bar.

Joel’s hand turns under his and his fingers squeeze Ray’s.

 

 

```

 

 

RTX is a blur, as it always tends to be, of panels and gaming sessions, signings and photos, talking to fans and joking around, and falling into bed in his hotel room anywhere between twelve and two o’clock in the morning.

There’s not much in the way of free time, so Ray takes what time he can to disappear between panels to take a power nap, though he never falls asleep under a booth like Geoff does.

One day he finds a couch behind a stage – possibly a prop – and sets his phone to wake him up in twenty minutes, then curls up.

He’s woken up by running footsteps barely five minutes later, and startles out of his half-asleep state to the sight of Joel skidding around the corner and diving down behind the curtain next to the couch.

“Joel, what-?”

Joel looks up at him, crazy-eyed and with a half-amused half-terrified smile on his face. “I did it again and Jack’s got a snake.”

Ray blinks and sits up slowly. “Again? What again?”

“Signed the tower of pimps in permanent marker. Jack found out and came looking for me and I think somehow he’s got a hold of a snake. Like, a real, _real_ live snake. At least I think it’s real. I didn’t exactly stop to look too closely but either way Jack’s pissed and he’s got a snake and-” Joel cuts off abruptly and disappears further behind the curtain.

A minute later Jack comes striding around from further backstage – Ray takes note that there’s nothing at all in his hands – and glances distractedly at Ray, a reddish hint to his cheeks that reads anger and frustration.

“Ray, you seen Joel?” Jack asks, severe annoyance in his tone, peeking out onto the stage.

Ray shakes his head automatically, not even hesitating. “Nope. Just trying to catch a quick nap before our next panel.”

Jack nods, obviously only half listening to the explanation, and strides back off the way he came, muttering under his breath.

Joel’s hand descends on Ray’s shoulder, the heat of his body presses up against his back over the couch and he whispers gleefully into his ear, “Thanks Ray. I’ll buy you a soda and dinner if I’m not dead by tonight.”

Then he’s off again in a flash, and Ray shakes his head, lying back down.

He doesn’t quite manage a nap, his mind keeping him awake with the way it decides to replay the memory of Joel’s hot breath ghosting over his ear and neck and the weight of his wide hand on his shoulder.

Joel does indeed buy him dinner that night, giggling over his vandalism and Jack’s thankfully swift-fading anger, and Ray warily files away the memory from the afternoon as ‘RTX madness’.

 

 

```

 

 

Gus calls him up to do the podcast a couple of weeks later, so when he’s finished for the day he make a run home to get an early dinner, and returns early, plays a few rounds of GTA on his Xbox to pass the time before making his way to the sound stage.

Burnie greets him, a little harried. “Hey Ray, make yourself comfortable, I’ve just gotta go track down our other participant.” He waves him over to the set, and strides out of the door, phone in hand.

Ray watches him go, bemused, and says a quick hello to Gus as he passes. He gets a distracted noise in response, and hides his grin.

He takes a seat on the couch and one of the crew comes over to fit him with a clip on mic. He’s pulling it up the neck of his T-shirt when he hears Burnie’s voice coming back and glances up. Joel looks like he’s already ranting to Burnie about something, but when his eyes flit to the couch the corner of his mouth twitches up. Ray grins in response, finishes affixing his mic and sends a thumbs up to the control booth through the camera.

Joel’s obviously been to fetch extra drinks to add to the minifridge, and when he drops down onto the couch beside Ray he hands him a soft drink, which Ray accepts in surprise.

“Dude, thanks, I thought I’d have to go find my own if I wanted anything.” He cracks it open and takes a sip, side eyeing Joel. “What happened to trying to ‘fix me’?”

He shrugs, leans back on the couch, and props his elbows up. “I’ll get around to it.”

Ray hides a smile in another sip of his soda, and Joel receives his own mic to clip on to his v-neck, and then Burnie and Gus are taking their seats and the crew are getting set up to start.

 

 

An hour in, Joel’s sunk down further on the couch, bottle of beer in one hand and the other slung up around the back of the couch behind Ray. The topic has moved onto bar encounters, and Burnie turns to Ray, rearranging his laptop.

“And Ray, you must have the most vivid stories, because you’re usually the only sober one right? You’d remember-”

“But Ray never goes outside.” Gus interrupts with a chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen you when some of us go drinking on a Friday after work.”

Ray shrugs with a smile. “I don’t like outside. Outside’s scary.”

“Yeah, but you’ll go to lunch.”

“Oh, absolutely.” He nods. “Food, I’m always up for that.”

“You and Joel have gotten lunch together too, haven’t you?” Burnie comments, a smirk twisting his lips. “That time he came back with, what was it, syrup in his hair?”

“Maple syrup, yeah.”

“We got pancakes for lunch.” Joel adds in, grinning happily.

Burnie tilts his head. “You say that like it’s a foreign concept. Like it’s strange, having pancakes for lunch-”

“Well it is, I’ve never done that before-”

“You fucking have, we got pancakes like a million times in college-”

“I don’t remember-”

“It still happened!”

“No, it never happened, I’d remember-”

Ray’s laughing - when he leans back in his seat he can feel Joel’s arm against the back of his neck – and Burnie interrupts to try and keep them on track. “So the point is, Ray, you’ve never had something weird happen to you in a bar…”

“Well, not _weird_ exactly-”

“But something did happen?”

“Yeah, actually, recently, I’d been out to get dinner and the people I was with wanted to go to a bar-”

“How recent are we talking?”

“Like, a few weeks ago,” he estimates, and Joel’s head suddenly whips around to stare at him. “And, so what happened is I ended up tagging along, because I didn’t have a car and there weren’t very many buses. So everyone gets drinks, I get up to go to the bathroom, and when I come back I bump into this guy, and he’s _really_ drunk-”

Burnie and Gus are listening with almost identical looks of anticipation and amusement, and Joel’s hand slips down to rest along his shoulders.

“And because he’s an asshole he’s like, super pissed and trying to pick a fight with me, and I’m just trying to get back to my friends, and Joel turns up out of nowhere-”

“ _Joel_?”

“Yeah.”

“And what, he threatens to knock the guy’s block off or something?” Burnie asks, incredulous.

“Pretty much.” Ray shrugs with a carefully neutral smile. Joel’s thumb has started brushing the back of his neck rhythmically and distractingly.

“That is hilarious,” Gus states, shaking his head. “I’m just imagining Joel acting all protective and menacing.”

“S’what I went to acting classes for.” Joel speaks up for the first time since Ray started telling the story. A grin spreads across his face. “Ray played the damsel in distress very well.”

Burnie and Gus laugh, and Ray smiles diffidently when Joel ruffles his hair.

His arm stays curled around Ray as they move onto other topics, and just before the podcast ends he curls a hand along the far side of Ray’s face, pulling Ray down into a brief half hug.

 

 

```

 

 

He leaves the office late – thanks to having to re-render and then upload a new achievement guide – and on a detour to the kitchen to pick up his snacks, happens to walk past Joel’s office just as the door opens.

“-fit it in tomorrow when Gus comes around- Ray,” he does a double-take, cutting off mid sentence in surprise. “Shouldn’t you be home by now?”

“Should be.” Ray smiles, and continues walking, turning to smile at Joel with his hands in his pockets. “Gotta grab something and I will be. See ya.” He waves, sniggering at the way Joel stays standing in the doorway staring after him, before he seems to remember what he was doing before and makes several aborted attempts to go back into the office.

The hallway’s empty when he comes back, and he half considers looking in, but it’s late enough already and he’d prefer not to walk in the dark.

So he walks out the front door and fetches his headphones from his pocket, starting the daily task of untangling them, when he hears a car engine start up from behind him. He steps to the side of the driveway and keeps walking.  The car pulls up level with him just as he reaches the front gate, slows to a standstill, and when he looks up he’s not at all surprised when Joel winds down the passenger window to lean across and look up at him.

“Need a ride?”

An amused smile creeps onto his face, and he absently wonders if Joel left his work unfinished just to cross paths with him here, but instead he just replies, “You know it’s like, a ten minute walk?”

“Yeah,” Joel shifts in his seat, looking out at the road for a moment, and then back at Ray with a half smile. “But I also know you. I figure you’re not likely to turn down a free ride.”

Ray opens his mouth to retort, but is interrupted by a quick beep of the horn by the car that’s pulled up behind them. When he looks over he can see Geoff and Gavin grinning at him from behind the windshield.

“Deal or no deal, Ray.” Joel drawls. “You might even win the car.”

He lets out a laugh, shakes his head, and because Joel’s right – he knows him too well – he stuffs his headphones, still tangled, back into his pocket, opens the passenger side door and slides himself into the seat.

“Seatbelt.” Joel reminds him, looking way too smug as he shifts into drive and pulls out of the gates.

“Worry-wart.” Ray returns.

“Hey, be nice, I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart.”

“Really? I thought you were in it for my delightful company.”

“Who says it’s not both?”

He startles when Joel reaches a hand over to lightly flick the side of his nose, and half-heartedly scowls at the smirk on Joel’s face.

“Why do you do that?” he blurts out.

“Do what?”

“The… the touching… thing.”

He’s been wanting to ask for what feels like months, half expects Joel to freeze up and deny it – it certainly wouldn’t be out of character for him to – but instead all he does is give a considering hum. They turn a corner before he finally answers.

“That’s a good question.” He draws the words out slowly.

Ray can’t help cracking a small smile. “Do I get bonus points for asking it?” and Joel hums again.

“I suppose the short answer…” he starts thoughtfully. “Is because I can.”

Ray waits, looking at Joel expectantly, and firmly ignores the building tight feeling behind his ribcage.

“And… what’s the long answer?”

The reply comes barely a second later, stated matter-of-factly, almost like it should be obvious.

“Because I want to.”

And Ray has to look away out the window while he tries to smothers the smile that threatens to take over his whole face. He wonders absently if he should be worried about his health; he’s suddenly overly twitchy in his seat, like there’s a build up of too much energy, and there’s a hitch in that tight feeling in his chest.

“Does it bother you?”

“No!” Ray says quickly, slightly too loudly as he looks back from the window, and okay, he definitely needs to see a doctor or something because the jump his heart does when Joel flashes a grin at him cannot be healthy. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to reiterate it, but he says it again anyway. “It _really_ doesn’t bother me.”

Joel chuckles, and his grin softens into a smile. “That’s good then.”

The car starts pulling over, and Ray realises that they’re already at his apartment, even though it feels like they only just pulled out of Roosterteeth. He almost wishes it were a further drive.

“I’d hate to stop,” Joel continues casually; he puts on the handbrake and half turns toward Ray in his seat. “Way too much fun.”

He startles out a laugh. “Well I’m glad I’m the source of so much amusement for you.”

“It is kinda your job.”

“No,” he corrects, unclipping his seatbelt and grinning at the easy banter they so easily slip into. “My job is to beat the lot of you into the ground with my superior gamer score and make overused jokes and references.”

Joel inclines his head and lifts a hand in a gesture of acknowledgement. “Of course, I stand corrected.”

Then he stretches that hand over, leaning forward a little and Ray smiles before he’s even made contact. He closes his eyes as Joel spreads his fingers over his cheek and drags them down and along his chin, laughs a little when Joel squeezes his cheeks together to make his lips pucker, and then trails his hand up to scruff his hair up.

 “Now get out, it ain’t good for the car to idle like this.” Joel’s amused voice makes him open his eyes again, and the hand on his head shoves him a little, playfully.

“Alright, alright, keep your pants on.” Ray laughs, and opens the door to get out.

“I’ll do what I like with my pants, thank you.” Joel calls after him, and makes an affronted noise when Ray closes the door on him.

 

 

```

 

 

The next week rolls around and Ray almost forgets that it’s his birthday, at least until he gets woken up by a phone call from his parents – and it’s lucky they do call, because his alarm decided not to go off and though he’s sure he’d get a pass today of all days, he still doesn’t really like to be late.

He showers and dresses and toasts a pop tart for breakfast, scrolling through his messages and Twitter feed and smiling at the well wishes. He’ll make a thank you post later on today, when it’ll cover any more messages he gets.

It’s warm, the heat of summer lingering on around Austin, and he’s glad when he gets to the front door because inside means air conditioning.

He gets ‘happy birthday’s shouted at him as he makes his way to the AH office, and then another chorus once he opens the door, along with pats on the back and a lads pile on thanks to Gavin knocking them over when Michael gives him a hug.

“Alright, well done Ray on living another year, now get back to work and shut up, we’ve got an AHWU to film.” Geoff hollers over their laughter, and so they pick themselves up and move to their desks.

Jack and Geoff set up the camera and lights, and it’s not long before they’re all mucking up in the background and around Jack anyway. Gavin comes up with the brilliant – kind of – idea of a three-tier piggy back, hoists Ray up, and then Michael picks up Gavin, leaning forward to compensate for the weight. They end up walking two steps into shot before Michael topples and they all go down in a pile, sending Geoff into hysterics. Gavin jumps up immediately, and Ryan helps hoist Ray and Michael onto their feet, and everything settles down a little from there.

At lunchtime, Ray knows something’s up, because all of the Achievement Hunters troop out of the office together, pulling Ray along with them, and when they reach the kitchen he sees why and bursts out laughing.

Some of the other employees have obviously taken the opportunity to hang up garish decorations, a big banner of tinfoil rainbow letters reading ‘it’s a boy!’, and there’s even several dozen helium filled balloons floating around the ceiling.

As soon as he walks in, everyone gathered there starts singing, off-key and over dramatic, several more people gathering around the doorways, and Ray can see Lindsay and Gavin with their phones out, recording. Caiti appears holding a chocolate cake on a plate, white icing and little red sugar roses on top amongst what he assumes is exactly twenty-five lit candles. The singing reaches a crescendo as Caiti nears him with the cake, and Ray pretends to grimace even as he fights back a wide grin.

“You all suck.” He announces; everyone laughs as they finish singing, and he gives in, leaning forward to blow out the candles to loud cheers.

The cake is put down on the main table and cut up, and he turns down the offered slice, instead going to fill up on the other bowls of snacks and sweets that have appeared. There’s also a whole stack of cards and parcels on the kitchen bench –some from the company and some from fans - which he’s going to open later.

“…not going to pull this shit tomorrow.” He hears from behind him, and glances over to see Joel and Burnie talking together, the latter holding a slice of cake.

“I would if I didn’t think you wouldn’t skip the whole day just to avoid it.” Burnie replies, and nudges Joel with his elbow. “Come on, man, a birthday’s a birthday! It’s just an excuse to eat lots of sugar and get acceptably drunk.”

“It’s a reminder of how much longer you have to live.”

Burnie throws the hand not holding the cake up, exasperation clear in his tone. “Fine, be a bitter old bastard. We won’t throw you a party. Just don’t drag this down for Ray.”

Joel looks affronted. “I wouldn’t.” he says, managing to sound a little whiny.

Burnie scoffs, and he turns and catches sight of Ray watching them. He splits into a wide smile and waves him over.

“Ray,” he exclaims, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Man of the hour. Was it a good surprise?”

“It was fantastic, thanks Burnie,” Ray returns, smiling up at the two of them – and man does he ever feel short standing next to these two. He doesn’t miss the look Burnie throws Joel, and the way Joel rolls his eyes.

“How’s the cake?” Joel asks, turning to him with a smile.

Ray looks at him, unimpressed. “Come on Joel, you know I always go cake-less.”

Joel face shifts into a suddenly serious expression, squinting at him. “Really?” he draws out. “I thought it was traditional to eat a slice of cake on your birthday. For good luck or something.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s weddings.”

“Huh.” He says thoughtfully, and his gaze flicks up over Ray’s head for a second then back down, and he breaks out into a smile. “Hey Ray.”

Ray raises an eyebrow at the shift in tone. “Yeah?”

Joel spreads his arms out wide, and takes a step forward, leaning over and gathering Ray in his arms, chin resting atop his head. Ray let out a small laugh and wraps his own arms around Joel, his face pressed into Joel’s chest as he hugs him back. The arms around him tighten, crushing him closer, and he smiles into the fabric of the shirt. After a few seconds, when Joel doesn’t let go or even loosen his grip, Ray’s forced to turn his head to the side to breathe, and catches the sight of several camera phones pointed at him.

“Joel-” he tries, wriggling a little and patting Joel’s back with his hands. Joel just holds him tighter, and makes shushing noises, and Ray’s sure he’s smirking.

He’s tossing up between making another protest, or just going ragdoll and hoping Joel will let him drop down in surprise – and surprise is the only thing he’s got in that plan, because he knows Joel can easily support his weight – when Joel shifts him in his arms, keeping him pinned with just one arm, and reaches the other around where Ray can’t see.

When Joel’s hand comes back and around in front of his face, Ray realises what he’d reached for, and makes a real effort to move back as much as he can now, away from the fingers holding a piece of cake up to his mouth.

“Heeeere comes the aeroplane!” Joel croons, and Ray makes the mistake of laughing at the baby voice, giving Joel the opportunity to smush the cake up against his lips. He doesn’t try to cram it in, thankfully, but when Ray closes his mouth against the onslaught and scrunches his eyes closed, Joel smears the remainder of the sponge and icing sugar across his chin and up his cheek.

He hesitantly opens his eyes when Joel finally releases him from the one-armed embrace and pulls his hand back from his mouth, and bends over immediately, trying to wipe the cake off his face and letting the crumbs fall to the floor. He’s still aware of the phones around him, and the laughter from everyone who witnessed the event.

It’s not quite over, though, because when he’s got as much cake off as he can and straightens up, unable to keep the smile off his face as he looks at the cameras, Joel swoops in one last time, holding him still with a hand on his shoulder and face, and licks whatever icing sugar remains off his cheek with one wet swipe of his tongue.

Joel releases him immediately after, grinning at the cameras and at Ray, and Ray’s holding back laughter himself, even as he swipes furiously at his cheek with his T-shirt.

He meets Joel’s gaze, and can’t stop the wide smile as he says, “You’re an asshole.” Prompting everyone watching them to burst out laughing again.

There’s warm amusement in Joel’s eyes, a smidge of icing at the corner of his mouth, and Ray’s cheek tingles in the aftermath.

It’s the best birthday he’s ever had.

 

 

The following day, Ray slips into Joel’s office early, and leaves a miniature 3D printed tower of pimps by his computer, with a red bow wrapped around it, and a scrawled message in permanent marker along one side.

_Happy Birthday Joel  
<3 Ray_

 

 

```

 

 

Thursday, he runs into Joel around the office a grand total of seven times.

The first time, he’s fetching drinks for the AH guys, and when Joel happens to be in the kitchen he offers to help carry things back for Ray.

Second time, it’s on his way back from the bathroom and Joel flashes him a smile as he walks past with Adam and a blanket swaddled watermelon in his arms. He doesn’t ask.

Third and fourth are in quick succession; when going to and from picking up lunch with Gavin and Michael he passes Joel outside, initially he’s using a hose to spray down the remains of a splattered watermelon on the tarmac, and then he and Adam are hysterically laughing while sopping wet. Ray almost hangs back to ask, but then Joel starts peeling off his drenched shirt and he hurries inside, chanting d _on’t think about it_ to himself.

The fifth time Joel comes into the office to talk to Jack – now in new dry clothes, though his shoes are still squelching when he walks – and steps up to Ray’s desk to lean over and watch him edit, ruffles his hair, tweaks his ear and giggles when Ray jumps.

Sixth, he’s searching for a game that Kerry borrowed in the sound stage, and ends up getting drawn into an RT Life with Miles and Watson, surrendering himself to the affections of yet another puppy. Joel walks in when Ray’s spread out on his back, Watson snuggled up under his shirt with his head sticking out the neck hole and licking all over Ray’s chin. He kneels down to pet the puppy, making cooing noises and ruffling his fur, and then proceeds to do the same to Ray while he’s trapped, playing up to the camera.

He has to go and wash his face in the sink, and Joel follows him with his phone out, snapping a picture just as Ray looks up with his glasses off and water dripping from his face. Joel’s smile is just as vivid even when slightly blurred.

By the seventh time he’s convinced the universe is trying to tell him something.

Joel rounds the corner at the other end of the hallway just as Ray exits the AH office to leave for the day.

“Still got the taste of dog hairs in your mouth?” he asks when he draws level, and Ray laughs.

“Nah, washed it away with like, three Red Bulls. Now all I can taste is sugar.”

Joel shakes his head. “Fuck, how are you not hyperglycaemic by now?”

“Because I maintain a healthy lifestyle-”

“Of video games and junk food?”

“Damn straight.” Ray grins. Joel shakes his head again, and by unspoken agreement they start walking along the hallway.

“So what was with the watermelon, earlier? Or do I even want to know?”

“Ehhh… it was a stand-in for a baby.”

His raises his eyebrows, and shoots Joel a perplexed look. “Why on earth did you- wait, nope, nevermind. I’ll just wait for the video for context.”

“A wise decision, puppy-boy.”

“Again with the nicknames?” Ray laughs. “I don’t know why you bother, you forget them as soon as you say them.”

Joel smirks at him. “Doesn’t matter, I do it for your reactions.”

“Endless source of personal entertainment again, right? I should get paid double.”

“How about I pay you in Whataburgers?”

“Done.”

He chuckles, and reaches out a hand, rests it on the back of Ray’s neck and then scruffs it up along the back of his head, tangling fingers in his hair, and when he drops it away he leaves a line of tingles on his scalp. He wouldn’t be surprised if his hair was standing on end, either from static or- he stops that train of thought quickly.

…And that’s the problem, isn’t it? He knows exactly what else it is that makes him react like this, that makes him so glad he’s got a good poker face.

Because it feels like their friendship has become stuck in stasis, balancing on the tip of the scale just before something more, and it confuses Ray to no end how they’ve not fallen over that edge already. Joel doesn’t let anything slip, doesn’t do more than give hints that Ray’s not sure _are_ actually hints, because as soon as he tries to hint back Joel just smiles and doesn’t seem to react. Ray almost wonders if it’s just in his head, if all Joel sees when he looks at him is another friend, another younger co-worker to have fun with.

Ray decides he’s sick of not knowing, and tired of waiting for things to change.

“Hey Joel…”

Joel stops and turns just as Ray steps forward, and this, it’s been a long time coming, he’s sure of it. So many moments, so many words and touches and smiles, leading to this. He compares it to the anticipation just before getting the final Achievement in a video game that you’ve been putting off finishing, that sweet taste of success, goal completed, game unlocked, high score, the lot of it. He’s spent so much time trying to figure this out, this thing between them, and finally - _finally_ \- he’s just going to take the straightforward path.

He leans up and in, one hand reaching to cup the side of his face.

Joel’s lips are warm and slightly chapped under his own, motionless in surprise, and Ray can’t help smiling into the kiss, gently coaxing a response with small presses of his lips, basking in the bright glow of _holy shit this is happening._

Two large hands come up to grip his shoulders – Ray breathes in, arches into the hold – and gently but firmly push him away, unexpectedly breaking the kiss and holding him at arm’s length.

Ray opens his eyes immediately, half expecting an exclamation or stuttering, and freezes at the look on Joel’s face.

His eyebrows are drawn together, mouth tight and turned down, nothing but apology in Joel’s eyes, and Ray feels his heart drop from his throat down to his feet.

Ohhh, he’s fucked up royally.

Not that he’s going to show it, of course, so he simply drops his hand from Joel’s cheek and cracks a half smile, falling back on humor even as a sharp sting starts behind his ribcage.

“What?” he asks. “Do I need a breath mint or something?”

If possible, Joel’s face scrunches up even more, and Ray can easily read the guilt that crosses it, can hear it in his voice when he says quietly, “Ray…”

Ray shrugs the hands off his shoulders and puts another step of space between them, shoves his own hands into his pockets. “Hey, it’s no big deal.” He says casually, and dares not meet Joel’s eyes again, so he chooses to stare at his left eyebrow instead. “Just, uh, don’t hold it against me?”

The sting has rapidly built into something closer to a stabbing sensation, and he bites down on his tongue and the hitch in his breath.

“Ray-”

“Just forget about it.” he interrupts, harsher than he means to sound. He takes another step back, and _tactful retreat_ runs across his mind. “Just- I’ll see you around, okay?”

“ _Ray_.”

He turns and walks away, hands clenched inside her pockets, and is halfway down the hall and to the front door before he hears quick footsteps behind him. He just quickens his pace; pushes the door open and lets it swing shut, smiling vindictively for just a second when he hears the bang and low curses.

The door opens again and Joel shouts after him. “Ray, _stop_! Fuck, just, let me- let me at least _say_ something, don’t-”

Joel catches him by the arm, and Ray lets himself be pulled around but refuses to look up, staring at his shoes. He hears Joel sigh heavily, and his fingers go lax, allowing Ray the freedom to pull his arm free if he wants to. He doesn’t, and they stand together in silence.

“Let me give you a ride home?”

Ray’s head shoots up, and he keeps his expression as neutral as possible, but for the incredulous rising of his eyebrows. “What.”

Joel gestures beside him, and of course they’ve stopped right next to his car. Ray grimaces, and pulls his arm free.

“No thanks. I’d rather walk.”

Infuriatingly, when he turns and starts walking, Joel falls into step with him.

“I’ll walk with you then.”

Ray stops, glaring at him. “Will you just quit it and leave me alone?” he asks, exasperated.

“Not unless you tell me you really want me to.” Joel returns.

He exhales, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly, and gives up; he’s already made a mess of things, he may as well face the music sooner rather than later.

“Fine.” He grits out, and turns back to the car, firmly ignoring the relieved smile on Joel’s face.

At least it’s a short drive.

Five minutes of tense silence later, the car pulls over to the curb and Ray unbuckles his seatbelt swiftly, ready to jump out and make a break for it, to try and avoid the coming conversation, but a brief touch of Joel’s fingers to the back of his hand stops him, if only for it’s familiarity.

“Can I- can I come in?” Joel hesitates over the words, and Ray rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know, can you?” he intones, just to be annoying.

Frustration flits across Joel’s face, and he tries again. “ _May_ I come in?”

Ray glances at him, and says quietly, “I’d really rather you didn’t.”

At the downcast look on Joel’s face, he adds, “We can save the adult conversation for another day, right? I kinda just want to go wallow in games and junk food for a while.”

It startles a small chuckle out of Joel at the very least, and now that the mix of awkward and guilt is receding he doesn’t feel too bad, and is only half-serious about the wallowing.

He reaches for the door, and this time the touch to his hand lingers, holds until he meets Joel’s gaze. He opens his mouth once, closes it again with a frown, and then starts speaking quickly.

“I don’t want you sad, Ray, and there’s things I need to- explain, because you need to understand that- not that I-” Joel huffs, and cuts himself off, looks to the roof of the car and out the window, worrying at the inside of his cheek, and Ray can see how he’s struggling to try to gather his thoughts into proper sentences.

He repeats himself with a sigh, but gentler this time. “I thought I said the adult conversation could wait.”

Joel’s eyes snap back to his; he catches the shortest glimpse of one of his squinty expressions, the one he tends to get when he can’t explain himself, and then Joel’s hand tightens on his, he makes one aborted movement forward, re-rights himself, and slants his mouth over Ray’s.

His brain fizzles out for a second, and when he comes back to himself, yep, Joel’s still got their mouths pressed together, one hand holding his and the other resting lightly on his jaw. Thoughts jostle for position but the one that takes forefront is _wow his lips are actually pretty soft_ , and he makes an involuntary noise and parts his lips and then they’re kissing for real.

At first it’s made up of small movements as their lips meet each other again and again, almost chaste and sweeter for it, something he’d never quite pictured from Joel, but there’s the promise of more when the kisses start to slow.

The fingers on his jaw slide up along the side of his face - thumb stroking once along his cheek - and guide Ray to tilt his head a little more so that Joel can press their lips together a little firmer. The warm, slow slide and the little hints of wetness when Joel dabs his tongue out to lick Ray’s lips before resuming the kiss, and he can’t distinguish between their breaths anymore, one becoming the other in the effortless rhythm.

He becomes aware of how little he’s actually touching Joel when the hand covering his own starts to move up his forearm; he’s momentarily distracted by the fact that Joel’s managing to focus on tracing invisible patterns along his skin without faltering or slowing the kiss at all. Then the hand reaches his shoulder and slides around to his shoulder blade and Ray pushes forward, brings his own hands up to wrap around Joel’s torso-

And gets caught in the seatbelt. Joel’s, since he’s already taken his own off.

Joel notices the way he pauses, and pulls back slowly, his lips lingering on Ray’s, and his thumb’s stroking his cheek again. Dark eyes meet his, and then flick down to look at where Ray’s hand is trapped between the seatbelt and his shoulder. He looks up again, a smile creeping onto his slightly pink lips, and Ray feels an answering one cross his own face.

“Well,” Ray starts, and has to clear his throat when his voice comes out a little hoarse. “Alright then.”

Laughter bubbles up between them, and Joel’s hand fumbles to unclip the seatbelt so he can sit forward unrestricted and lean his forehead against Ray’s. He puts his hands back on Ray’s face immediately, caressing the line of his jaw and down to where his neck meets his shoulders, under the collar of his shirt. The laughter quiets and mingles until they’re kissing again, soft and slow, and Ray loops an arm up around Joel’s shoulders, letting the other drift down to rest a hand against his waist.

“May I come in?” Joel breathes against his mouth, and Ray shivers at the sensation and implication, nodding as much as he can and making a noise of assent. They continue to trade kisses for a few more minutes before Ray finally – reluctantly - pulls back, and then they stare at each other for another long moment, eyes skipping over features at such close quarters, and the soft yet intent half-lidded look on Joel’s face is doing more to make Ray’s cheeks heat up than anything else.

He swallows thickly. “So, uh-” and then has to swallow again when Joel’s gaze drops to watch his lips move as he speaks. “I mean, unless you want to sit in your car for the rest of the night, though I don’t think it’d be very comfortable, trying to share a seat…”

Joel chuckles, ducking his head. “Yeah, car sex is _not_ as hot as it sounds.”

“Wait… you’ve actually done that?”

“In a smaller car than this, too. With those seats you have to push forward to get into the back.”

“Must’ve been pretty _hard_ to manoeuvre.”

“Ha, ha.” Joel rolls his eyes, and snags his keys as he turns to get out of the car. “You coming, or what?”

“If you play your cards right I will be.” Ray quips, getting out himself, and Joel’s laughter echoes as they walk up to the front door of his apartment building.

They take the elevator, and as soon as the doors close Joel crowds him into a corner, but doesn’t kiss him, just noses at his jaw, fingers spread possessively on his hips.

“What on earth are you doing?” Ray asks, stifling the urge to laugh when Joel nuzzles a ticklish spot on the side of his neck.

“Ruining your reputation in the eyes of the security guards who watch those tapes.” Joel replies, nodding his head to the small camera set above the doors of the lift, and promptly bites down where his neck meets his shoulder.

“Holy _fuck_ -” Ray jumps, but Joel withdraws immediately and the sharp sting of the bite recedes quickly when he rubs it with a hand. The smirk on Joel’s face tells him it wasn’t meant for anything but to elicit a reaction.

“You’re an asshole.” Ray tells him, and Joel shrugs, still smirking, as if to say _I know_ , and before they can do anything else the elevator _dings_ and the doors open.

Joel follows him out and along the hallway, hovering just close enough behind him to be distracting enough that he fumbles the key in the lock. He eventually unlocks his apartment door, firmly ignoring the sniggering behind him, and walks in, kicking off his shoes along the way.

“I’d offer you a drink,” he says on his way to the kitchen, and dimly hears Joel close the apartment door behind him. “But all I’ve got is soda and coke. And a Redbull.” He amends upon opening the fridge.

He looks up and raises his eyebrows at Joel, who’s leaning against the doorframe. When he says nothing Ray shrugs and grabs himself a cream soda, cracking the can and taking a drink. Joel laughs quietly and shakes his head when Ray looks at him inquisitively.

“No wonder you taste like artificial sugar.” He says idly, and Ray chokes a bit on his soda.

“Right.” He coughs. “Right.”

Joel’s smirk easily shifts into a smile, and he slowly walks forward until he’s close enough to take the soft drink from Ray’s hand and set it down on the counter. He leans down just as slowly, watching Ray the whole time, until they’re bare inches away and he closes his eyes and closes the distance.

Ray opens his mouth easily at the first insistent press, and Joel wastes no time licking his way inside, deepening the kiss, his hands going to Ray’s waist. Ray slides his own hands along Joel’s forearms, tilting his head, and meet Joel’s tongue with his own, teasing lightly in contrast to the deep sweeps that cross the roof of his mouth and leave behind a sensation almost like an itch – or rather an intense need to chase Joel’s tongue into his mouth.

When he gasps for air, Joel breaks the kiss to move across his jaw and down his neck, nipping at the skin before laving his tongue over it soothingly. His hands dip up and under the hem Ray’s T-shirt and slide up his waist to just under his ribs, fingers pressing lightly, and it’s all he can do to cling to Joel’s forearms and try to remember more than five seconds ago.

“Joel,” he murmurs, and inhales sharply when it prompts another open-mouthed bite to the column of his neck. “ _Joel._ ”

“Hmm?” he hums into his ear, an amused chuckle following when he flicks his tongue along the outer-edge and Ray lets out a soft curse.

“Hold on, just- _fuck_ , Joel-” he scrambles at Joel’s arms, grasping his wrists and tugging them out from under his shirt.

“Was planning to.” Joel mumbles in response, and finally pulls back with a small, confused squint when Ray smacks his arm.

“Whaaaaaaaat..?” he whines, pouting.

Ray tightens his grip on Joel’s wrists when he tries to move his hands back to his waist, and though Joel could probably resist he obediently stills at a look from Ray.

 He takes a breath, and looks up at Joel. “We should probably have that adult conversation now, shouldn’t we?”

“ _No_. Definitely not. Maybe later. Maybe-”

“Joel.”

He sighs in defeat, and his shoulders drop; when Ray releases his wrists and takes a small step away he leans against the counter and rubs his palms over his eyes. Peeks through his fingers and bites his lip.

“I don’t know where to start.” He admits.

Ray smiles, and leans beside him, their arms touching. “I’ll start then.” He says easily, and waits till Joel nods before speaking. “Why did you stop me when I first kissed you?”

Joel flinches a bit, probably not expecting the question, but Ray’s not disappointed anymore, just plain curious about the reaction and why it had taken till they were sitting in front of Ray’s apartment for Joel to return the gesture.

“I…” he trails off almost immediately, and a furrow appears between his eyebrows as they pull together. He’s silent for over a minute, and Ray just waits, practically watching the cogs in his brain stutter into life and start to form his words into sentences.

“I think I was a bit surprised, really.” He says eventually, and the way he speaks it seems like he’s hearing it for the first time, too. “I’d convinced myself ages ago that there was nothing more between us than just friendship, _ordered_ myself not to let it go further, to not pressure you, and so when you actually- when you kissed me I think I just… shut down?”

Ray raises his eyebrows, and can’t help asking teasingly. “Like when that rainbow wheel pops up when an application stops responding?”

Joel throws him a scowl, but nods before looking down at his hands. “I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, all I knew was that it couldn’t be happening, and if it was it was probably for the wrong reasons and I shouldn’t kiss you back, but I _really_ did want to kiss you back straight away-”

“Then why _didn’t_ you?”

“I don’t know! I wasn’t thinking straight! I didn’t want it to just be a one time mutually horny fuck thing and then have us go back to just being friends or even before that when we hardly talked or hung out or-”

Ray twists his fingers in the neck of his shirt and tugs, leaning up on the balls of his feet to press his lips to Joel’s. He doesn’t take it any further than another light peck, and then pulls back, confident he’s put a stopper on Joel’s suddenly agitated moment, and he knows he’s got his attention from the way Joel follows just a little as he settles back on his heels.

“Joel, I’m telling you now: this is not just a mutually horny thing. At least not for me.”

He studies him for a moment longer and then a smile slowly quirks Joel’s lips up at his words, spreading into a full out grin, and the tension runs out of his shoulders from where they’d been bunched up.

“Not for me, either.” He says, somehow making the words sound like a declaration. “And now I’d really like to kiss you again.”

Ray grins in return, and lifts his arms in an invitation, wrapping them around Joel’s shoulders as Joel’s cross at the small of his back, both of them smiling into the kiss.

“You’ve really got to stop over thinking things.” Ray says against Joel’s lips, and Joel pulls back just enough to look at him.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “Because I was thinking about the best way to convince you to show me to your bedroom.”

And _that_ is a sure-fire way to draw his attention to the heat that’s been gradually building in his skin, low in his belly. “That thinking’s okay.” Ray assures him quickly, and it’s entirely possible his thoughts are fully visible on his face, because Joel kisses him lightly with a chuckle, once.

“Now I’m thinking about how to get us there…”

“No carrying me.” Ray warns, and slides his hands down Joel’s chest to his sides, feeling his ribs expand as he breathes.

“I could though.”

“I’m not saying you can’t, just that it won’t be practical this time round.”

Joel smiles dreamily. “This time…?”

He rolls his eyes and reaches for Joel’s hands, stepping backwards. “Just follow me.” he says, and laughs at how quickly Joel follows after him.

Ray’s bedroom door is open, and the room itself is somewhat less than tidy, with shoes and a couple of his hoodies in a pile in front of the wardrobe, and the bedside table cluttered with games. The bed sheets are rucked up and thrown back and his DS lies on top where he’d left it this morning.

Not that Joel seems to take much notice, giving just a cursory glance around in vague interest, and then pressing himself to Ray’s back, arms draped over his shoulders and plucking at his T-shirt.

“I can’t move with you lying all over me, you know.” Ray says idly, and suddenly he has to struggle to stay upright as Joel leans all his weight on him. “Fuck, stop, you’re heavy-”

Just as suddenly, Joel stands upright again, smiling down in amusement when Ray turns to frown at him. “You’re not funny.” He tells him, and Joel smiles wider, bending down till they’re level.

“And yet I’m here, standing in your bedroom.” He says, closing the distance. “There must be something you like about me.”

Hands find his waist again as lips meet his, delving under his shirt and this time Joel pushes his hands all the way up to his chest, fingers curled along his ribs and thumbs finding and brushing over his nipples. He stifles any sound he might have made by catching Joel’s bottom lip between his teeth, tugging and sucking, and when Joel groans into his mouth he can feel it under his hands where he’s placed them between Joel’s shoulder blades. A sudden lurch backwards almost makes him stumble, but Joel’s hands clamped over his skin keep him steady, allows him to walk Ray backwards further into the room.

The back of his knee hits the mattress, and he tenses instinctively, expecting the sudden tilt onto his back, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Joel manoeuvre’s them about until _he’s_ the one with his back to the bed, and despite Ray’s warning earlier, his hands dip down his back and skim over his ass to grab at his thighs, lifting him off the ground in one sudden movement. He grabs at Joel’s shoulders in surprise, and pulls back from the kiss as Joel settles himself down on the bed, arranging Ray across his stretched out legs, almost in his lap.

Ray blinks at the change of position, and flicks Joel’s ear with a half-smile. “I thought I said no picking me up.”

“No, you said no _carrying_ you.” Joel corrects, hands kneading Ray’s thighs lightly. “There’s a difference.”

“Barely…” Ray scoffs, but obligingly arches his neck when Joel leans in to place open-mouthed kisses there. “I’ll let it slide this time, though.” he concedes, and threads his fingers through Joel’s hair.

“How generous of you.” Joel drawls, kissing his jaw. He runs one hand all the way up Ray’s side, pushing his T-shirt up as he goes, and pinches a nipple between his forefinger and thumb. Ray sucks in a hissing breath, fingers tightening in Joel’s hair, and his mouth falls open when Joel uses his grip on his thigh to drag him closer, and leaves his neck alone only to plant his mouth over his fingers and Ray’s nipple.

“ _Jesus._ ” He grits out, and Joel hums, flicks his tongue over the bud and pinches again, working until Ray feels almost raw, panting heavily. Joel eventually pulls back, looks over what he’s done, and then glances up at Ray through his eyelashes, runs his thumb over the nipple again and watches Ray shudder with a smile. Then he moves across to the other side and begins anew, and Ray gives up on keeping quiet and moans unreservedly.

He can’t let Joel go as long the second time, and uses his grip on his hair to pull him up and kiss him furiously, shifting forward in his lap until he can feel Joel through his shorts, and grinds down. They both gasp into the kiss as he repeats the motion, and Joel’s hand tightens in a claw on his thigh, slides up to curl around his hip and use the grip as leverage to angle Ray down properly.

“Clothes- _off_ -” Joel growls into his mouth, tugging at his shirt.

They’ve slid down against the bed so they’re practically half-lying against each other, and it takes a bit more effort for Ray to pull back and sit upright, both their hands working to tug his shirt up and off. As soon as it is, Joel’s fingers drop straight to the belt on his shorts while Ray’s go to Joel’s v-neck. They fumble for a moment before Joel curses, and Ray sits back with a breathy laugh, and they both work to rid themselves of their remaining clothes. Joel’s still got his shoes on, of all things, and Ray can’t help laughing as he struggle with trying to get his trainers and his shorts off almost at the same time.

Ray crawls back into Joel’s lap as soon as they’re down to just their underwear – and his glasses, he needs to _see_ _this_ – and kisses him deeply; runs his hands over Joel’s shoulders and arms and across his chest, mesmerised by the heat and the subtle, involuntary twitch of muscles when his fingers reach his stomach.

“You’re so…” Joel murmurs, his own hands mapping out Ray’s lower back and wrapping around his waist. “So…”

“If you say small I _will_ kick you out.” Ray warns, and takes the time to press kisses along Joel’s jaw and neck, down to his collarbone.

“Well, I was gonna say scrawny but- _ow, Ray!_ ” he yelps when Ray bites down, hands scrabbling against his sides.

He soothes the bite with his tongue a little, but doesn’t let up, sucking and biting at various spots on Joel’s skin – gentler this time – and Joel babbles above him, hands alternately clenching and flexing against Ray’s shoulder blades.

Pulling back when he’s satisfied, he looks over the collection of slowly reddening marks, teeth impressions clearly visible in a lot of them, and grins up at Joel, whose expression has gone lax, lips parted and a pretty flush across his cheeks. He swallows and blinks a couple of times, makes a strangely choked whining sound, and Ray takes pity and leans in to kiss him, soft and slow.

Joel returns the kiss, and gradually resumes tracing his hands over his skin, slowly lets them drift down to Ray’s hips. He runs his fingers along the waistband of his briefs, gently asking, and when Ray hums into the kiss he starts tugging them down, guiding Ray to rise up on his knees a little so he can pull them off further. Ray makes a muffled ‘ _mph’_ sound as his cock springs free, and Joel gets the briefs down to about mid-thigh before he gives up, and slides his hands infuriatingly slowly back up to Ray’s hips.

He’s going to sit back down in Joel’s lap, but the hands on his hips hold him still; Joel breaks the kiss, moving to press quick soft ones to Ray’s neck and collar, then further down as his hands urge Ray to sit up higher, thumbs on his hipbones and fingers curled around to his ass.

Joel pulls back when his kisses reach Ray’s stomach, and he looks up with a lazy tilt of his head, thumbs brushing his skin, and when no objection comes from Ray, he lowers his gaze and his mouth and kisses down from his navel, nuzzling the small trail of hair. Ray holds his breath, hands gripping Joel’s shoulders tightly, and then lets it out in one big whoosh when Joel’s lips finally reach his cock.

A few light, teasing kisses pressed to the head, and then his tongue flicks out and Ray jolts, just stopping himself from thrusting forward as Joel licks a long stripe up his length. His lips press against the tip again, tongue against his slit, and Ray’s not at all prepared when he suddenly closes his mouth around the head, sucking lightly. Ray lets out a strangled cry, claps his hand to his mouth as Joel moves his own on him, and then - too soon, _too soon_ \- he’s pulling off and a hand reaches up to remove his gently from his mouth, guiding it down to Joel’s head, encouraging him to grip at his hair with a squeeze to his fingers, and Ray opens eyes he doesn’t remember closing.

Joel smiles up at him, holds his gaze, and then says softly but clearly, “Watch me.” as he leans in once more.

Ray does, somehow, manage to keep his eyes open, and watches dazedly as his cock disappears between Joel’s lips, sucked into wet, glorious heat. When he groans and tightens his fingers in messy hair Joel hums appreciatively and takes him deeper.

He’s so lost in the sensation that he barely realises he’s moving his hips in tiny, short thrusts, and that Joel’s hands are encouraging it, flexing and pulling, guiding Ray to shallowly fuck his mouth. There are noises falling from his mouth amidst curses and iterations of Joel’s name, gripping handfuls of his hair and legs shaking as he watches Joel’s mouth stretched wide to take him in.

It feels like forever and yet no time at all before Joel’s slowing, pulling back, swirling his tongue around the underside of Ray’s cock, and pulling off with a wet pop. Pleas are on the tip of Ray’s tongue, to not stop, to take him in hand at least because he’s _so fucking_ _close-_

Then Joel’s fingers shift on his hips, move further back, lightly grip the cheeks of his ass and spread them, but stop there when Ray tenses automatically.

Joel looks a sight, mouth level with his cock and spit shining on his slightly swollen lips, gazing up at him in a way that would seem much too calm, if not for the wild look in his eyes. He squeezes Ray’s ass slowly and Ray understands what he’s asking before he even speaks.

“Did you want to?” Joel asks, voice husky, and Ray can tell that he would be just as happy to continue as they have been – he’s got a few tricks that he wouldn’t mind trying out on Joel at some point – but now that the idea’s been brought to the forefront of his mind…

Ray scratches his short nails against Joel’s skull and breathes. “ _Fuck_ yes.”

His eyes roll back in his head and he chokes out a moan as Joel immediately darts in to lap at his cock again, running his tongue around the crown of the head. He presses his lips to it once more before pulling back and guiding Ray to sit back down in his lap. Joel’s panting, eyes bright and hair wild, and looking vaguely like an overexcited puppy.

“Lube?” he prompts, hands running up and down Ray’s sides, lightly enough that it’s almost ticklish.

“Yeah,” Ray says breathlessly, and scrambles off his lap, quickly shoving his underwear off the rest of the way, and reaches for the drawer of his bedside table. He shoots a quick glance back at Joel and cracks a grin. “You may want to get those off if we’re gonna do this.” He adds, looking meaningfully towards Joel’s boxers.

Joel looks down at himself in surprise, and then hastily starts shimmying out of his underwear, and Ray turns back to the drawer with a chuckle, locating the small bottle. He hesitates over the packet of condoms, and bites his lip, before deciding to just ask.

“I’m not gonna catch anything nasty from you, am I?”

“Huh?” Joel sounds legitimately confused for a second, and then exclaims in understanding. “Oh! Oh, no, no, I go get checked regularly and- yeah, so- no, I’m clean, no… nothing bad.” He trails off when Ray glances back at him over his shoulder, eyebrows raised, and he’s amused to see a faint blush across his cheeks.

“Alright, then. Good.” Ray assures, and closes the drawer, sitting back on his heels with the lube in his hands. He takes a moment to let his eyes wander now that he’s sat back a bit, quirks his lips as he takes in the array of marks scattered across Joel’s collar and shoulders and upper chest; he follows the line of Joel’s abdomen down, and feels a wave of heat like a swooping sensation in his stomach when he lays eyes on Joel’s cock, flushed and hard and nestled amongst sparse dark curls.

When he looks back up, Joel’s watching him closely, eyes half-lidded, and Ray swallows thickly.

“So…”

“Would you like me to-?” Joel jumps in quickly, and gestures to the bottle in Ray’s hands. “I mean-”

His lips twitch. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay.” Joel repeats, hesitates, and then pats his thighs with a mischievous grin. “Hop on, then.”

“Jesus Christ.” Ray laughs, but crawls over nonetheless. “Can you sound like anymore of a creeper?”

“I could offer you some candy from my tinted window van?” Joel teases, hands going to Ray’s waist when he straddles him.

“Maybe some other time.” He settles down and hitches in a breath when their cocks graze each other. Joel leans forward to capture his lips in a hard kiss, licking and nibbling at his lips until Ray’s moaning softly, eyes closed, and he takes the lube from Ray’s hand.

To distract himself from the all too loud click of the cap, and with his hands now free, Ray trails his fingers lightly over Joel’s cock, grinning when Joel breaks the kiss with a low curse, fumbling the bottle. He circles a finger around the head, slick with precome, and then follows the shaft down as low as he can reach, grazing the top of Joel’s sack before tracing a vein back up again, listening to Joel’s breath come in shorter puffs.

He takes Joel in hand, then, sliding up and down experimentally, and then tightens his grip abruptly when one slick finger trails down the line of his ass to rub at the puckered skin. He has to force himself not to flinch away, and to loosen his fingers on Joel’s cock, trying to pour all his concentration into how it feels in his hand, and on the contact between them when Joel leans their foreheads together.

“Easy…” Joel murmurs, soothing. “Relax, Ray.”

The finger rubs at him, circles around, pressing lightly, ever patient, until the teasing is worse than the actuality, and Ray pushes back against it, just wanting Joel to _get on with it_ , and easier than expected the tip slips into him.

Joel stills at the same time that Ray does, but it doesn’t last, because the surprise wears off in seconds, and Ray shifts again, hoping Joel gets the message.

He seems to, because carefully and almost too-slowly, he starts to press his finger in and out again in shallow thrusts, a second one rubbing against the outside, and when he goes to press _that_ one inside as well, it’s a stretch, but not painful.

Ray starts moving his hand on Joel’s cock again; he’s aware that he’s been sitting still for more than a minute, and as he starts up a slow rhythm Joel rewards him with a quiet moan of his name, so he leans in to kiss him.

Joel’s fingers withdraw and return with more slick, two slipping in easily and scissoring inside him, and his spare hand meets Ray’s, linking their fingers and closing their hands around both their cocks, dragging long strokes up and down even as a third finger presses inside. Their kisses turn sloppy, little more than open presses of their mouths together, and breathing in each other’s air.

“Ray…” Joel groans, licking at his lips, and Ray nods his head frantically, bearing down on the fingers in him.

“Good, good, I’m good, I- Joel, c’mon-”

The hand holding both of his around their cocks bats his hands away, and Ray whines at the loss, opens his eyes to take in the sight of Joel smearing his own cock with lube. Joel’s fingers slip out of him, and he clenches on nothing, bereft, as Joel wipes off the excess slick and grips at his hips, lifting him up.

“Wait, wait,” he stammers, and Joel freezes immediately, looking up at him wide-eyed. Ray just smiles shakily, and reaches up to take his glasses off, throwing them onto the bedside table.

“I’d hate to kill the mood by telling you to stop in the middle of things because of my glasses falling off.” He says with a small laugh, resting his hands on Joel’s shoulders.

An answering smile spreads over Joel’s face, and he leans up to kiss him just as Ray sinks down, Joel’s hand guiding him directly over his cock.

 _This_ stretch does burn, just a little, and he has to stop with just the head breaching him and break off from the kiss, eyes scrunched closed and holding his breath. Joel’s hands soothe over his legs and hips, and he mouths at the side of Ray’s neck, helps to hold him steady until the pressure eases and he can continue sliding down, down, until their hips meet and he feels almost completely split open.

“Are… are you-?” Joel asks, and bites off a moan when Ray shifts. “ _God_ , Ray-”

“Fine.” Ray gasps, experimentally rolling his hips. “ _Excellent._ ”

The stretch is easing, a tense pleasure building in it’s place, and Ray’s focus narrows to the friction as he raises himself up onto his knees, until just the head of Joel’s cock is inside, and then sinks down, drawing groans from them both.

It’s easier the second time, and then the third, and soon they manage to set a shallow pace, Joel arching up to meet him as he fucks himself onto his cock. His legs are already shaking with the effort, and though he wants to take himself in hand he needs both his hands on Joel’s shoulders to keep balanced.

“Joel,” he pants, and bites down on his lip as the next thrust up comes a bit harder. “Gonna- gonna need a hand, here.”

“Sure, got it, just let me-”

He wraps his hands around his back, and Ray squeezes his legs against Joel’s hips as he shifts up onto his knees, holding him up - Ray feels himself slip down a little further on his cock and keens – and then the mattress is at his back and the breath is driven out of him as Joel uses the new leverage to set about dismantling him. The different angle allows him to quicken the pace, pushing deeper, and the head of his cock drags against a spot inside Ray that makes him see stars.

Ray’s cock is rubbing against Joel’s stomach with ever thrust, and that, coupled with the blinding shocks of pleasure that unfurl whenever Joel’s cock brushes that spot inside him, is very quickly sending him towards release.

“Joel,” he chokes out, fingers digging into his shoulders, and Joel slants his mouth over Ray’s, kissing him until he’s breathless and moving his hips faster and deeper so that every thrust hits his sweet spot. Joel’s hand sneaks between them and jerks him once, twice, and then his climax crashes over him and he’s gone, arching his back and spilling over Joel’s fist and his own stomach.

He comes back to himself when Joel releases him to grip his waist, his pace becoming erratic as he chases his own release. He’s hunched over him, each thrust sending aftershocks of pleasure through him, and Ray lazily wraps his arms around Joel’s back, closing his mouth and teeth over the tendon between his neck and shoulder, over the top of a mark he’d made previously. Joel moans raggedly into his neck; Ray sucks on the skin between his teeth thoughtfully and then deliberately clenches down on Joel’s cock.

With a strangled shout, Joel’s hips snap forward and a shudder runs through him, his fingers digging into Ray’s sides as his cock pulses, warmth spilling inside him and slicking the way as Joel jerks his hips a couple more times before he stops, collapsing down on top of him.

Ray gently releases the worried skin from his mouth and lets his head fall back against the mattress, the pair of them catching their breath.

“Well.” He mumbles dazedly. “Fuck me.”

“Already did.” Joel groans into his neck, struggling up onto his elbows. “Give me another ten minutes.”

His laughter dissolves into a groan and a small wince when Joel carefully pulls out of him, his insides feeling oversensitive and fucked raw. Joel’s hand is instantly stroking along his side and stomach, and even though it’s blurry without his glasses he can make out the concern on Joel’s face as he hovers over him.

“I’m good.” He smiles reassuringly, carding his fingers through his hair, and Joel follows the gentle persuasion, leaning down to kiss him languidly.

After a minute, Joel pecks his lips lightly, and pulls back to roll off Ray and lie beside him, fingers moving idly over the back of Ray’s hand between them. Ray shifts, and grimaces at the feel of sticky drying over his stomach and between his legs.

“Uh, gross.” He grumbles, and Joel cranes his neck up just enough to see what Ray’s talking about before flopping back with a chuckle.

“Half of it’s yours.” He reminds him, tired amusement lacing his words.

“That doesn’t make it any less gross.” Ray groans, and pushes himself up into a sitting position with his arms – his stomach muscles seem to have all but vanished. “I need a shower. And something to eat.”

“I could take you out to dinner.” Joel muses, rolling onto his side and gazing up at him with a small smile on his face. “Or we could order take in and play the Xbox.” He adds with a knowing grin.

Ray grins back at him, and drops his head to his chest, shaking it amazedly. At Joel’s quirked eyebrow when he looks up he simply shrugs and says lightly, “This day just gets better and better.”

Joel’s smile turns warm and soft with affection, and he sits up to capture Ray’s lips in a kiss that’s just as soft, small sips at his mouth and the barest hint of tongue across his bottom lip.

The sound of the front door opening echoes in the near silence of the apartment and causes them to jump apart, and Tina’s voice follows immediately after. “Godammit Ray, I’ve _told_ you not to leave your shoes right in front of the doorway! One day I’m gonna trip over them and bleed to death on the carpet and it’ll be _your_ fault!”

Joel’s expression seems to be struggling between startled and amused, but Ray jumps up quickly with a curse and hastily slams his bedroom door shut.

“Tina! Don’t come down the hallway!” he yells through the door.

“Why not!?”

Ray claps a hand over his face and shouts back. “Because I’m ass-naked and about to take a shower, that’s why! Just give me two minutes!”

“Fine, but don’t take too long!”

Ray sighs, looking back at the bed and a sniggering, still naked Joel. He points a finger in warning. “Not a word.”

Joel holds up his hands innocently, and stands up to start collecting his clothes. Ray grabs up his glasses first, followed by a clean pair of shorts, briefs, and a T-shirt from his wardrobe, and a pair of towels. He turns to run his eyes over Joel – who’s contemplating his boxers with a squint – and feels a smile make it’s way back onto his face as he takes in his dishevelled appearance, from his even-messier-than-usual hair to the smattering of bite marks across his front and shoulders.

He looks back up to see Joel taking him in the same way, and he grins when he meets Ray’s gaze, crossing the room in a few steps to reach out a hand and run his fingers from Ray’s collar down his chest, under his ribs and down to his hip, fitting them over the quickly fading red where he’d gripped him earlier.

“Can we do this again?” he asks quietly, hopefully.

Ray raises his eyebrows. “Just this?” he asks teasingly.

Joel purses his lips. “And me giving you rides home, and getting lunch together, and playing video games and-”

“Dating?” Ray supplies, and Joel nods quickly, running a hand through his hair.

“I figure we can just… keep doing what we’ve been doing and hanging out but also make out a bunch. And have sex.”

“So… basically like dating.”

“…Yeah.”

Ray grins, reaches a hand up and curls it around the back of Joel’s neck, tugging him down to whisper against his lips.

“I’d love to.”

 

 

 

 ```

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (NOTE: Smut is hard and taxing on the brain to write. Especially when you're trying to write it in company of others while keeping a straight face.)


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